And I Owe it All to My Stomach
by sum nox
Summary: Harry and Draco accidently preform an ancient marriage ritual and are now betrothed to one another. (or are they)and Voldemort is slightly more insane than in the books! HD slash.
1. Default Chapter

It had been like this all day. Every now and then, he would get a queasy feeling in his stomach, almost like he was gonna toss his cookies, and then it would fade away into nothing. Right now he was in potions, paired up with none other than his worst enemy. Potions was his least favorite subject, and right now especially he just wanted it to be over, so that he could go to the nurse, Madame Pomfrey, and get a potion to calm his stomach.

Snape, the potions teacher, was droning on and on about something or other, he wasn't really paying attention. Neither was anyone else in the class, not even the Slytherins. Of course, that was understandable, because the Slytherins got to see the lesson plan for the next day, so they already knew what potion they were going to brew, and every usefully hint associated with said potion. This was just a rumor, however, with no solid evidence to back it up, but still... the Gryffindors were very sure that it was true.

"... You may begin," Snape said, ending his talk.

Almost everyone immediately began to work. Hermione Granger, who was paired with Blaise Zambini, was practically elbowing her partner out of the way in order to do her potion. She was very intent on being able to say she did it all on her own, with no help from her _Slytherin_ partner. The girl might go as far as to say that Zambini wasn't even offering to help, but no one would believe her, not really, even if all the Gryffindors would nod their heads in agreement and understanding when she told them about her lazy partner.

Ronald Weasely, who was paired up with Gregory Goyle, wasn't even trying to work on his potion. His attention was more focused on avoiding Goyle's feet, as they blundered about noisily on the hard dungeon floor. Although Ron was not a small boy, or in any way weak, he was no comparison to Goyle, who had more bulk than muscle or brain.

Having issues of his own, was Neville Longbottom. Paired with Vincent Crabbe, he was in constant danger of being hit with a flying newt's tail, or stray flobbergobbet tongue as Crabbe tried to shoot them into the cauldron from a rather far distance. Apparently he had gotten a hold of some muggle video tapes and had discovered the sport "basketball."

Harry Potter was still feeling sick to his stomach, and simple words could not describe the misery he was in. Not only was his stomach being uncooperative, but his partner in potions was being an ass as well. Whenever Harry requested an ingredient so that he could put it in the cauldron, or chop it up, his partner would throw said ingredient into his face. Harry had now learned that as soon as he asked for a component to the potion he should raise his hands up, so as to catch whatever came flying at him.

Suddenly, there was a huge explosion, and a plume of sparkling purple fumes rose high out of Neville's cauldron. Snape was at the scene of the disaster in mere seconds, making many students wonder if perhaps he had apparated. That was impossible, of course, due to the wards about the castle, but still... it made one wonder.

"_WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!_" Snape screamed into Neville's face.

"I- uh – Well my partner, uh, Crabbe, here, put in, the, uh, flobbergobbet at the, um, wrong step in the potion recipe and it... uh..."

Snape cut the poor soul off there, "Do NOT blame your partner, for I'm sure Mr. Crabbe had nothing to do with this at all! He is very gifted in potions, and I have had the honor of tutoring him over the summer so that his talent will expand to even greater lengths!" Snape, of course, had never tutored Crabbe, and knew full well that it probably _had_ been Neville's partner that botched the potion. The potion's professor may be on the light side of the war, but he was most certainly not going to side with a Gryffindor on such a trivial matter. Therefore, he deducted twenty points from Gryffindor, and made Neville clean up the mess the exploding potion had made.

The fumes from Neville and Crabbe's potion-gone-wrong weren't helping Harry's stomach, if anything, the ache had gotten worse. For a while, Harry considered raising his hand and asking if he could go to the hospital wing, but knew that the answer would be 'no.' After all, it was Snape he was dealing with; the potions master had made it clear very early on that he hated Gryffindors, and he hated Harry Potter especially.

Soon Harry was feeling too sick to be in class, and decided to risk the imminent 'no,' and just ask Snape if he could go to see Madame Pomfrey, due to his rather obnoxious stomach.

"Mr. Potter, what is it? I assume you do not need help with your potion?" Snape raised an eyebrow in question. Harry shook his head.

"No sir, I was wondering if I could go to the hospital wing, because my stomach really has been acting up all day, and I feel unwell. I wouldn't want to mess up my potion just because of my upset stomach, right?" Harry tried to smile, but the would-be-smile dried up and died on his face, almost before it began.

"No," Snape answered simply, then turned on his heel, with a fantastic swish of his cape, and then walked back to the front of his class, where Blaise had finally started elbowing Hermione back, and the two had soon gotten into a screaming match. No great surprise that it would result in loss of points for the Gryffindor house.

Harry sighed and lowered his head. "Will you please pass the tunder root?"

The ingredient came sailing towards Harry's face. At that exact moment, of course, Harry's stomach decided to act up, and instead of his hands moving up to protect his face from the flying object, they went down to clutch his stomach.

His mouth opened slightly in a grimace of pain, and the perfectly aimed root landed partially in his open mouth.

"ECK!" Harry yelled, jumping up, momentarily forgetting about his stomach, and ripping the tunder root from his mouth.

The entire Slytherin house was laughing hysterically at his expense, and Harry had just enough time to register that he had swallowed some of the ingredient before his stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch, and his breakfast went soaring through the air, landing right on his partner's foot.

Harry looked up, only to have cool grey eyes look back down at him.

"Potter. That better not be your breakfast on my shoe."

_I just threw up on Draco Malfoy..._ was the first thought that crossed Harry's mind.

Unfortunately, it was also the last for the next couple of hours, seeing as Draco, who was understandably angry, punched him in the face, effectively knocking him out.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so, this story is s'pose to be more funny than serious (it should get more funny... I hope so anyways. I dunno how good I am at writing humor...) So this I'm gonna try and make this story a bit more insane than my other ones. **

**Anyways, if you've read my other stories, you probably know that in my author's notes, I beg for peoeple to review... and I really do beg! I am writing this on my knees _begging_ for you to review! I will love you forever and ever! I will worship the ground you walk on! I will be so happy that I will jump for joy and my entire high-school will come to know me as "that kid who jumps everywhere." I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER IF YOU REVIEW! If I had one hundred dollars to give to everyone who reviewed I would do it! Unfortunately I am not that rich. If I were, I probably wouldn't be writing these stories, I would be driving around in a pretty car, or swimming in an awesome pool. But I am _not_ rich, and I _don't_have one hundred dollars to give everyone who reviews. I _will_ however love you (like I've said many times before!) So pretty pretty please review!**


	2. Flying PaperWeights

"Mr. Malfoy!" Snape said, almost betraying emotion, but not quite, "please take Mr. Potter to the infirmary! Wouldn't want to hurt the world's precious Golden Boy," Snape snarled.

Draco grinned at Severus' last comment, and promptly picked up the now unconscious boy, and carried him to the infirmary.

SsSsSsSsSsS

"What on earth did you do this time Mr. Malfoy!" Madame Pomfrey screeched, looking at the unconscious boy in Draco's arms.

Draco just smirked, "Nothing. He just fainted... and happened to somehow get a fist in his face."

Pomfrey looked at Draco disapprovingly, but decided to leave punishment to the teacher who witnessed the fight that had taken place.

Draco turned to leave, but the medi-witch grabbed onto his arm. "Mr. Malfoy, I want you to stay here and watch Mr. Potter while I go and get a few potions from Professor Snape, so that I can fix up the broke nose, and cuts."

He sighed. "Fine."

"Good. If you are not here, or I see Mr. Potter in worse condition than I left him, then there will be hell to pay Mr. Malfoy!"

Draco grumbled and sat next to the unconscious boy's bed.

"This bites."

SsSsSsSsSs

A few days had passed since the incident, and Harry was taking special care so that he never had to run into Malfoy again. Unfortunately, roughly three days after the accident, Harry and Draco were called into Dumbledore's office.

"Boys! Wonderful to see you! Lemon drop?" both boys shook their heads.

"Licorice?"

Draco looked puzzled, "What the heck is a licorice?"

Harry chuckled, "It's a muggle candy," he informed Draco, then turning to Dumbledore he said, "No thank you, sir."

Draco continued to look puzzled.

"Well, I suppose I should tell you why you are both here..." Dumbledore began.

"That would be nice, some of us have homework, you know!" Draco stated impatiently.

"Ah yes, well I suppose you're right. I would like to be the first to congratulate you both."

Both boys were equally puzzled. "What did _we_ do?" Harry asked.

Draco asked, "Do we get a prize for whatever it is you're congratulating us on?"

Dumbledore shook his head.

"You two are officially married!"

Everything was silent until both boys started to laugh hysterically. Dumbledore waited patiently for them to be finished.

"You're joking!" Harry chortled.

Draco couldn't say anything he was laughing too hard. The two enemies had even begun to lean on each other for support, because both of them were beginning to loose their balance, due to the lack of oxygen getting to their brains.

"Boys, I would like you to take this very seriously! You are married!"

This statement was met with more howls of laughter, but now they had a more desperate edge to them, almost as though the two boys were laughing to convince themselves, rather than laughing at what was obviously a prank being pulled on them.

"SILENCE!" Dumbledore finally shouted. The two were immediately quite.

"This is not a joke, boys, no matter how much either of you would wish it to be one. You are officially wed, incidentally by an ancient custom preformed by a tribe of wizards from which Mr. Malfoy is descended."

By now Harry and Draco had figured out that Dumbledore was, unfortunately, not joking.

"This is all your fault!" Harry accused Draco.

"_MY_ fault! How is this _MY_ fault!" Draco shouted.

"Because thanks to one of _your_ ancestors, we're going to get married!"

Dumbledore intervened at this point, "Well, technically, you already _are_ married. The ceremony has already been preformed."

"What ceremony! I saw no priest! There was no high priestess! Nothing! There was no ceremony, unless it happened in my sleep!" Draco was near hysterics. Harry wasn't much better off.

"There was indeed a ceremony, roughly three days ago."

"WHAT! But that's the day that Scar Head over there barfed on my precious foot!"

"Exactly!" Dumbledore said, "That was the ceremony."

"So this is all _YOUR_ fault!" Draco screamed at Harry.

"Well, you did your part by carrying Harry through the door," Dumbledore said helpfully.

"This is way more your fault then it is mine, Malfoy!"

"And how's that!"

"It's your ancestor's that came up with some stupid marriage ceremony which involved barfing on people's feet and carrying people out of doors, and it's your fault for completing some stupid ceremony which never should have existed in the first place if it wasn't for your _COOKY_ ancestors!" Harry yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Yeah! Well if you had never _initiated _this ceremony, we wouldn't be here right now!" Draco retorted.

"You blame this on me?"

"Of course!"

Suddenly a paper-weight, which Dumbledore just so happened to like, went flying towards Draco, courtesy of one Harry Potter.

"BOYS!" Dumbledore yelled. All commotion stopped immediately. "Good. Now that we're all being civil, I would like to congratulate you, and would like to present you with your own dorms. You will want to get to know each other, seeing as you are both married, now. I will show you your new dorm, if you will follow me. You will have one week off from school, with no work to catch up on, and the house elves will bring your belongings into your new quarters. Alright, then, follow me!"

Harry and Draco began to follow their head master out of the office, each glaring at each other equally menacing. If looks could kill, both of them would have been dead as road kill. Unfortunately for them, looks can't kill... but curses can, and each of them were thinking of equally nasty curses that they could cast on one another once Dumbledore turned his back on them...

* * *

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated this story in a while! Anyways, here's the second chapter, and I promise it'll get more interesting later! Well... I hope it will!**

**Thank you everyone who has reviewed! **

**And if you haven't reviewed yet, please do! Thank you so much!**

**Also, to _fragonknight01: _I would just like to let you know, you're supposed to review on the story, not the author's note. just so ya know. thanx for reviewing though. **


	3. pillow fight

The door shut and Dumbledore had left the two boys on their separate beds staring at one another with a murderous glint in their eyes. Their new room wasn't so bad, actually, it was very nice looking. It had a large living space with a beautiful couch of a rich dark green, and drapes hung about the room that were a beautiful velvet in a wonderful golden color. The living space then branched off into a kitchen area, where there was a fridge that, when tapped three times, would take an order, and then give you what you had asked for. The oven was the same way, only it delivered hot foods, and the pantry delivered foods that were to be kept at room temperature.

The bedroom, of which there was only one, luckily with two beds, to the relief of the boys, had a beautiful green carpet with a dark red rug under each bed. There was a fireplace in the room as well as in the living space. The one in the boys' bedroom was a bit smaller, but was comforting all the same. Canopy beds were set up side by side on the wall adjacent to the fireplace. These beds were separated only by a couple of feet, and were quickly moved farther apart when the Slytherin and Gryffindor saw how close they were. On the wall opposite the beds was a huge glass window, but was unbreakable under any sort of pressure or by any spell. This window, however, could be transformed into a regular wall, which could then be decorated any way the inhabitants wished, just by saying a simple spell (no wand needed) and then telling the wall what you wished it to look like.

The reason everything in the room operated on spells which could be preformed without a wand was because Harry and Draco had had their wands confiscated. Draco wondered why, of course the Dumbledore's parting words should have given him a hint. The headmaster's words of advice were this: "Boys... I know living together will be hard, but try not to kill each other," and then he had taken the wands.

Harry, for one, was glad his had been taken, because he was sure that if he was still in possession of it, he would have long ago cast a curse that he would later regret.

Draco, on the other hand, was fuming.

"Damn him! I could have cursed you to hell and back... and then back to hell again with no return ticket if he hadn't of taken my wand!" Draco yelled.

"Oh just _shut up_! I've had enough of your whining for one day! Take that back, I've had enough of your whining for a lifetime, probably more."

"You act as though _I'm_ not suffering, when in fact, _I am the one who is suffering most here!_" yelled Draco.

"I don't see how that's possible. There are tons of sexy witches and wizards that would just _love_ to be married to me... albeit in a more old fashioned sense of the word..." Harry said.

"Potter, you can't get a much older ritual than barfing on someone's foot. That had to have been invented a billion years ago, it's far too primitive."

"Malfoy, it was invented by one of your ancestors... for all we know, the ritual could have been created just this last generation."

That was the last straw. Draco lunged.

"OOF!" All the air flew from Harry's lungs as Draco barreled into his stomach. Both boys fell to the ground in a disgruntled heap.

"You take that back!" Malfoy shouted.

"Why shouldI?"

"Because I want you to!"

"And you always get what you want?" Harry asked, somewhat curious.

"Of course... don't you?"

Harry started to laugh.

"What? What did I say?"

"Of course I don't always get what I want. That would make life _way_ too dull!" Harry said, tears of mirth in his eyes. He was still laughing.

"Boring? I think it's wonderful to get everything I want!"

Harry didn't answer. He was too busy laughing.

"Shut up! Why are you laughing so hard! SHUT UP!"

Harry continued to laugh until a pillow whacked him in the face.

"Oh, you asked for it Malfoy!" Harry yelled, grabbing a pillow of his own. With animal like war cries, the two students raced at each other, pillows raise above their heads, ready for the first blow.

"You are pure evil Malfoy!" Harry screamed, laughing hard and kicking his feet. Draco's pillow had burst open, and so the blond had taken a handful of feathers, thrown them at Harry, and then tripped him. Once the black haired boy had fallen to the ground, Draco had grabbed a feather and begun tickling Harry's feet.

"I know, I just can't help myself. It's in my nature," responded Draco, still tickling Harry, who was now laughing too hard to do much else besides laugh even harder.

"Okay. I'm done, my arm is tired, and you look like you're about to die of asphyxiation. Wouldn't want to lose the world's golden boy due to a pillow fight turned deadly, now would we?" Draco said, smiling.

Harry chuckled, "I can see the headlines now, _GOLDEN BOY DIES IN FREAK PILLOW ACCIDENT,_"

Draco snorted through his nose as he and Harry both imagined what the article would look like if Harry died due to a freak pillow accident.

"I think the whole episode would be rather funny, except for the me dying part, of course," Harry stated.

"No, no, no. You're all wrong. It would be _very_ funny, _especially_ the you dying part!" Draco chortled.

"Oh, go fuck yourself, Malfoy," joked Harry.

"I've tried, doesn't work. Really a shame, I'm so sexy even _I_ want a piece of myself!"

Harry gaped at his rival-turned-husband in awe. "I never new anyone could be so utterly _vain_..."

"Ah, yes, well, I pride myself on my high self esteem," Draco responded.

"Wow... you're even proud of your _vanity_... this amazes me... are you human? I think that someone who had that big of an ego would explode, but I see you're still intact... so tell me Malfoy, is it a spell that keeps you from blowing up, or are you an alien?"

"It's a spell."

"Are you joking?"

"Of course not. Malfoy's never joke."

"You're joking."

"Were you listening Potter? I said Malfoy's never joke," Draco said, straight faced and seriously.

"Oh gods... you're _not_ joking..."

Suddenly, a pillow (which had magically appeared on Malfoy's bed, after the previous one had burst) hit Harry upside the head, throwing him backwards off the bed, where he had been sitting.

"Of _course_ I'm joking, you twit!" Draco yelled, then busted up laughing.

Harry began to laugh, too, then stopped abruptly, "Wait. Malfoy. Do you know what's happening?"

"I should think so... You were laughing, and are now serious, I was laughing, and am now answering your question, and there are feathers still falling from the roof from when my pillow exploded."

Harry gaped again, "No, Malfoy! It's the apocalypse! We're being civil to each other!"

"Are we? I suppose we are. Well... we better stop such horrid behavior this instant!" Draco joked.

"Oh, of course!" Harry replied, laughing.

"Master."

"What?" Harry asked, confused.

"The sentence you just said, on the end of it, you need to say 'master,'" Draco answered.

"Malfoy... I think you've gone nuts... actually, never mind... You can't go someplace you're already at."

"No, I mean, since you are my wife, you need to call me master." Draco said.

"Hey! Who made _me_ the wife! And since when do wives call their husbands 'master'?"

"Since now."

"Draco. You need help. I can suggest a wonderful psychiatrist..."

"Draco."

"Yes... that's your name, isn't it?" Harry asked, very very confused.

"No, I know, it's just that you've never called me Draco before."

"Oh. Sorry if I offend."

"No, no! By all means, call me Draco. And master."

"What is it with you and the whole 'master' thing? What kind of kinky things go through your mind at times like these? Actually, don't tell me that, I don't really want to know."

"You're right, you don't. As for the kinky things, saying master isn't that kinky... is it?" Draco asked.

"Yeah, actually, it is. Why did you think wives called their husbands 'master'?"

"That's what my mom calls my dad..."

"You're joking," Harry said.

"Like I said, Malfoy's never joke," Draco replied.

"But when you said that, you were joking!"

"I know."

"You confuse me," stated Harry.

"That's my goal in life."

"Are you serious about the whole master thing?"

"Of course not you overly gullible prat," Draco said.

Harry let out a sigh of relief, "Oh good, for a second I thought you really meant that you wanted me to call you master. I thought you meant that I was the wife, too!"

"Well, I _did_ mean that."

"Mean what?"

"You're the wife, of course," Draco said.

"Why me?"

"Because I said so."

"And you always get what you want," Harry mocked.

"Of course," Draco either ignored the mocking tone, or didn't catch it.

"Draco neither of us is a girl. Neither of us can be a wife," Harry tried to point out.

"But-"

Harry cut Draco off, "No buts. Neither of us is the wife."

"Fine!" Draco pouted, storming off to the bathroom and locking the door.

"Why me?" Harry asked the empty room. He didn't receive an answer. Then again, he wasn't really expecting one, but it would have been nice.

* * *

**A/N: Yay! Another chapter up! I'm trying to update all three of my stories pretty regularily, and am seeing that it probably wasn't smart of me to post three stories at one time. Anyways, it's a fun challenge to keep all of the stories updated. Thank you everyone who reviewed! I love you!**

**_fragonknight01: _Well... you have a point. Thank you for reading my A/N.**

**_Elektra107_: You have reviewed all of my stories, and most of the chapters on every one. YOU. ARE. AWESOME! You are, like, my hero. I love you. Thank you so much for reviewing all of my stuff!**

**_Lena: _I'm glad you think this is one of the best fics you've read! That makes me so happy! Hehe. **

**Thank you everyone who's reviewed! You have just made my day! (or week... or month... or maybe even year, if you keep reviewing! Thank you so much!)**


	4. Snape's Hair

"There's nothing to _do_!" Harry yelled, flopping back onto his bed.

"What do you mean there's nothing to do? We're two worst enemies, there's always something to do!"

Harry looked up, a bored expression on his face, "Like what?"

"Well... we could whack each other with pillows!"

"Already did that..."

"Oh yeah... how about insult each other back and forth and see which one of us is wittier!"

"Did that already too," Harry responded, flopping his head back down onto his pillows in exasperation. "Face it Draco, there's nothing to do!"

"There's and endless number of things to eat! And there's a wall that can be a window or anything else you want it to be! There is definitely something to do! If nothing else, you can stuff your face!"

Harry sighed, "I'm full, I've been eating almost all morning! I'm telling you, there's nothing to do! I guess we could make the wall into a frickin' big TV... but even that gets boring after a while... I'm so bored! All our friends are in class, and I'm bored."

"Harry, Harry, Harry... There is _always_ something to do! Like... we could go annoy the teachers while they are giving their lessons!" Draco said.

"How do you propose we annoy them without them seeing us?" Harry asked, then sat up suddenly, an idea striking him. "Wait... without them seeing us... this could work!"

Draco stood, confused. "Um... Harry? What are you going on about? We don't have our wands... we can't do spells to make us invisible!"

"No, I know, we don't need our wands... where'd I put it?... Ah! Here it is!" Harry yelled, lifting up a shimmering cloak.

"You have an invisibility cloak?" Draco yelled in amazement. "Those are so rare, even my father can't find one to give to me! That's not fair!"

Harry laughed, "Complain later, Draco darling, we have some annoying to do."

* * *

"The dungeons? We're going to annoy _Snape_?" asked an incredulous Draco. 

"But of course!" Harry responded, "He's annoyed _me_ enough over the years, I figure this is payback!"

Draco shrugged, "Whatever... but if he catches you, I was never in on this."

"Oh, you're just chicken, c'mon; I know a way to get in from the supply closet so he won't notice the door opening."

"How do you know about that door! Snape wouldn't even tell _me_ where it was!"

Harry just shrugged, You'd be surprised of how many nooks and crannies I know about in this school... I'll inform you later... maybe... anyways, here... we're in the supply closet."

Draco looked around. It was just an ordinary supply closet, not the one they used for class, but one that came out behind a drape that hung behind Snape's desk. If they were lucky, no one would notice their entrance. If they were unlucky, Snape would be writing on the board, and notice the tapestry move as the door hit against it slightly.

They were lucky, it turned out that Snape was scolding Neville for blowing up a potion... again.

"C'mon," Harry whispered, "Erase some of these notes with me."

"That's not really _annoying_, that's more like slowly sabotaging his lesson..." Draco said.

"Annoying, sabotaging, it's all good, c'mon!"

Harry picked up an eraser, and began erasing all the A's on the board. What was left of the notes made little to no sense.

No one really realized that something had happened to the notes, because they were too focused on creating their potions. Hermione, however, raised her hand.

"Professor?"

Snape sighed, frustrated. "Yes, Ms. Granger?"

"The notes have gone missing."

"The notes are just fine, I assure you. Do want to take a trip to the infirmary? I do believe hallucinations would be ample enough reason to see Madame Pomfrey.

"Professor, please look at the board, the letters have gone missing."

Snape growled and turned around, jumping slightly.

"Alright! Who erased the A's?"

Everyone stared silently at the board as chalk floated up of it's own accord, and began to draw a caricature of Snape.

The class began to laugh.

"This is not funny!" Snape turned around to point to the missing letters, and noticed the cartoon of himself that had a rather large nose.

"These events are not funny!" he boomed. Everyone was immediately silent.

"Good. Now. Whoever did this will have detention for a month. If you do not confess now, I will find out who did this, and you will have detention for _two_ months!"

Frightened faces stared at one another from across the room.

Snape glared at each individual in turn. "Well! Who was it!"

Suddenly, the class burst out laughing again as Snape's hair began to stand on end, and suddenly unseen hands mussed it up so that it was one big greasy blob on top of an equally greasy potion master's head.

"Potter..." Snape growled. He had felt the hands, and there was only one student with an invisibility cloak in the whole school. Harry didn't know that Snape knew about the invisibility cloak, but the headmaster had informed him that Potter possessed one.

From a nearby supply closet, a bucket of water began to float ominously towards the potions master. A bottle of soap seemed to be floating there too...

Snape screeched as the water fell onto his head. Suddenly the soap bottle had been upturned, and Snape's hair moved as if someone was washing it. Snape was turning at smacking the air, trying to find the edge of the invisibility cloak, so that he could convict Potter. Unfortunately, his wand was on his desk, and no where near him.

The hands left as quickly as they had come. Snape almost sighed in relief, until he saw another bucket of water coming towards him. He screamed something that sounded like a war cry, and ran towards the bucket. He stumbled and fell as an invisible leg stuck out and tripped him. The water came crashing down onto Snape's head as he lay on the dungeon floor.

"Hermione!" said a bodiless voice next to the girl's ear.

"Harry?"

"Yeah, listen, if you could cast a drying spell on Snape's hair real quick, I will be forever grateful!"

Hermione sighed, somewhat laughing, and said, "Alright, I will, but you owe me!"

Immediately, Snape's hair was dry, considerably less greasy, and actually good looking.

Harry turned to Draco and said, "Now all we need to do is find a tanning spell, and he'd be okay looking. Also, we need to get him into new some new clothes... but that is for another day... I think we should get out of here while we still can!"

Draco nodded, and both of the boys hurried out of the classroom the same way they had entered it.

* * *

Snape entered Dumbledore's office, a scowl firmly in place. 

"Why Severus," Dumbledore said, "You're hair looks wonderful!"

"Thanks to those... wait... what did you say?"

"You're hair, it looks wonderful!" Dumbledore restated.

"Oh. Oh yes. Of course... thank you Albus!" Snape said, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He turned to go, but Dumbledore called him back.

"Severus! You came to tell me something?" he asked.

"Oh. Yes, of course! About my hair. This was an accident, two boys came into my classroom, and-"

Dumbledore cut him off, "Severus, some accidents turn out for the better... such as the potato chip... that was an accident, and just think of how scrumptious those are!"

"Potato chip, sir?"

"Ah, yes, I don't believe you've ever tried one... all the same, Severus... some accidents turn out for the better. I'm sure these boys were well meaning, isn't that right?"

"I'm not so sure..."

"Of course they were well meaning, just look at what they did to your hair!"

"Was there something wrong with it before?" Snape asked.

"No! No! Of course not! It was just a bit... greasy," Dumbledore answered.

"Yes, well I liked my hair greasy..."

"Severus, don't complain, your hair looks wonderful. If I were you, I'd give these boys some house points and leave this whole incident alone, what do you say?"

"Alright, I'll drop it, but no house points!"

Dumbledore shrugged, "Whatever suits you Severus, but you're hair definitely does look better! Oh, would you like a lemon drop?"

Snape refrained from making a face, and instead said, "No thank you, good day Albus," and walked out of the room as quickly as he could.

* * *

**A/N: YAY!_TWENTY TWO_reviews in the first three chapters! That's so awesome! Thank you for reviewing! And if you haven't reviewed, please do! I will love you forever and ever! **


	5. Singing songs

**A/N: The song is not mine, it's by Three Days Grace. So yeah. I thought it fit pretty well.**

* * *

Harry and Draco fell on their beds laughing. "That was so fucking hilarious!" Harry screeched between fits of laughter.

"I know! Let's go bug McGonagall next!" shouted Draco.

Harry thought about it for a while... "No! I have a better idea!"

"A better idea? What would this idea be?" Draco was curious.

"Music," was the simple reply.

"Music?"

"At dinner, we're going to put on a bit of a show for the school!" Harry had a devious smile on his face.

"My, my, Harry! I didn't know you had this side to you!" Draco said, half surprised, and half teasing.

"Maybe that comes with being married to someone..." Harry said before beginning to tell Draco his plan for the little concert he was going to put on for the school.

* * *

"Hermione, what happened during potions? That totally lost me," Ron asked the bushy haired girl.

Hermione snickered. "Nothing, Ron... Snape just got his hair washed."

"During class?"

Hermione nodded.

"Well... I knew he was strange... but not _that_ strange!" Ron exclaimed.

Hermione laughed, "Learn something new everyday, huh?"

"Yeah, really!" Ron replied.

Suddenly the lights in the great hall dimmed, and two men walked into the great hall.

"Who're they?" Ron asked Hermione.

Hermione had already figured out who the two were, who else could they be? She didn't say anything to anybody, of course, but kept it all to herself. This could prove to be interesting...

The two boys' faces were hidden by shadow, and suddenly some music started up, and the two began to sing. Harry sung the first verses.

_Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet _

Every roommate kept awake  
By every sigh and scream we make  
All the feelings that I get  
But I still don't miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you

**Draco then began to sing:**

Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet

Only when I stop to think about it

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you

Only when I stop to think  
About you, I know  
Only when you stop to think  
About me, do you know

**Then they both sang together:**

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you  
You hate everything about me  
Why do you love me

I hate  
You hate  
I hate  
You love me

I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you

Everyone stood astonished at the singing, because it was so good, and although the voices sounded so familiar, no one but Hermione could quite put their fingers on who it was. Even Ron had a problem figuring out who it was that was singing.

The next thing that took everyone by surprise was the two singers began to make out and then slowly disappeared. The lights came back on and everyone began to clap. Dumbledore smiled widely watching the spot that the two boys had previously occupied, and Snape glared at the entire hall with venom, fingering his new un-greasy hair every now and then and his scowl would deepen.

* * *

Harry and Draco were back in their rooms panting and chuckling. "You know, I could get used to this!" Harry said.

" _Anyone_ could get used to this! No classes to attend, no work to make up, an invisibility cloak, the power to annoy anyone we wish and a sexy roommate!" Draco clapped a hand over his mouth at the last item on his list. Harry began to crack up.

"I think that the fake snog scene at the end of our little concert has gone to your head!" Harry laughed.

"Yeah, must have!" Draco said with no real conviction. He was in a pensive mood after that, not that Harry noticed, because right after Draco's slip, he ran off to laugh with Hermione.

"Bye Draco darling!" Harry called before running off to his friends.

Draco grunted in response, he was too deep in thought to think about anything he was saying.

_Why did I say that thing about him being sexy? _

Another part of his brain replied, **_Well, it's true, isn't it?_ **

_Of course not!_

**_Don't lie to yourself_**

_Okay... I mean, no, no, I'm not lying to myself! _

_**Yes you are, you dim wad **_

_Shut up you stupid thought process! I can lie to myself if I want to! I can do anything I want! _

_**I give up. You are truly stupid. You're MARRIED to the guy and you can't even admit he's sexy... you are a lousy excuse for a wizard, you know that?** _

When Harry came back into the room, Draco was smacking himself upside the head with his pillow.

"Draco... are you okay?" Harry asked cautiously.

The bashing stopped immediately, "Of course I am! What made you think otherwise?"

"Um... perhaps it was the fact that you were hitting your brains out with a pillow..."

"Oh... um... that was just some excerise... you know? Can't let this sexy body go to the dogs and all that!" Draco said.

Harry nodded, confused. "Well... you continue with that..._exercise_... I'll be getting ready for bed, okay?"

Draco nodded, mentally kicking himself for being so stupid. What was wrong with him? He was usually super suave and cool!

**_Maybe it's the fact that you like him... and think he's sexy_ **said that annoying voice in his mind.

_Didn't I tell you to shut up already!_ The other half of Draco's mind screamed.

**_Hey! I'm entitled to my opinion!_**

Draco sighed and tried to fall asleep. His last thought was _Well... he is pretty sexy._

* * *

**A/N: Next chapter will be better, I promise. Draco's not schizo, by the way, he just thinks to himself sometimes... have you ever done that? I do that sometimes...**

**Anyways, thank you everyone who reviewed! Please continue to review! You're opinion means much to me, and I will love you forever and ever!**


	6. Narcissa

The next day, the entire school was talking about the performance in the great hall.

The strings of conversation between girls went something like this: "Did you see those two guys? Do you think they're gay, or bi? Do you think I have a chance?"

Conversation between the gay or bi guys went something like this: "Who do you think that was! Man! I wish I coulda had a piece of that action there at the end! I wanna snog one of them!"

And, of course, there was the conversation between the people who thought they were undeniably straight, but were, in fact, bi, which went something like this: "Did you see the performance in the Great Hall? That was so random! I don't see how two guys could make out! That is so amazingly sexy... I mean... yuck. I would never, _ever_ do that... but _man _am I jealous!... I mean, uh... ew."

By the end of the day the conclusion was that the guys that were snogging in the Great Hall were bi, the girls had a chance, the guys had a chance, and that all the guys who _thought _that they were straight were actually bi.

Draco and Harry were aware of the conversations floating around the school and were too busy laughing to really do much else.

"I can't believe they thought that I was actually _kissing_ you! That's hilarious! I bet if they knew who we were they wouldn't think that!" Harry laughed.

"Hey! Are you implying that it would be _bad_ kissing me?" Draco replied, offended.

"Oh, c'mon Draco, of course that's not what I'm _implying_!" Harry said. Draco nodded smugly, but then Harry said, "I'm directly telling you that you would be a horrid snogging partner!"

Draco lunged at Harry, pinning him to the ground. "What're you _doing_?" Harry screeched.

"Showing you that I can kiss!" Draco replied sensibly.

"What! Are you out of your mind?"

Just then Dumbledore came into the room and noticed the two boys on the floor, one Draco Malfoy pinning down one Harry Potter. The headmaster cleared his throat and Draco hurriedly got to his feet, blushing profusely.

"Mr. Malfoy, I hope I'm not interrupting anything...?" Dumbledore said cautiously.

"No! No! Of course not! We were... um... wrestling!" answered Draco quickly.

Dumbledore had a dubious look on his face, but said nothing, for which Harry was very thankful for.

"Well, I came to inform you that your mother is here, Mr. Malfoy. She's coming up to your room in about five minutes to speak with you and Mr. Potter," informed the headmaster.

As soon as Dumbledore left, Draco turned to Harry and shouted hysterically, "My _mother_! What's she going to say about these living arrangements! Actually, forget the dorm, what's she going to say about me being married to _you_!"

Harry had an offended look on his face and an insulted tone to his voice, "What's so bad about being married to me?"

"Well... you're you! You're the sworn enemy of You-Know-Who! True, my mother isn't a _supporter_ of the Dark Lord, but she isn't against him either, and my father, even though he's in prison, is an avid supporter... and well... do you get it?"

Harry nodded, almost sad. He opened his mouth to say something, but just then Mrs. Malfoy burst into the room, escorted by Dumbledore, who turned and left after he had brought Narcissa in.

"Draco Darling!" Narcissa cried, running to Draco and wrapping him in a huge hug.

Harry watched with interest as Mrs. Malfoy smothered Draco in kisses. Scowling, Draco gave Harry cold glares, especially when Narcissa mussed up Draco's hair and Harry burst out laughing.

Finally, Draco pushed his mother away, "Alright Mother! I think that's enough! What did you come to see me about?" This last sentence was said with a little anxiety, Harry could tell. It's not everyday you have to tell your mother that you're married to your long time rivalry due to some freak accident involving an upset stomach and the horrid timing of walking through a door.

"Darling, I think we should go down to the room of requirements to discuss matters... it is a much more comfortable setting, wouldn't you agree?" Narcissa asked her son.

Draco nodded absently.

"Well... I'll be here when you get back," Harry said.

"Oh no you won't," Draco's Mother said sternly.

"I won't?"

"No, because you are coming with us."

When Harry didn't move, Narcissa stepped towards the door with amazing speed and grace and motioned impatiently. "Well! Come on! I don't have all day, and I refuse to wait on you just because you have a funny scar on your forehead!"

Draco snickered and Harry hit the blond on the head as he walked out the door.

* * *

The door to the Room of Requirements closed with a small click and one could almost see the relief radiate off of Narcissa Malfoy.

"Mother? What's wrong?" Draco asked.

"No one can hear this, so I can speak freely. First off, welcome to the family, Harry!" Narcissa smiled and wrapped her arms around a very stunned Harry Potter.

"Um... Mrs. Malfoy... Are you okay?" Harry asked, confused.

"Of course I'm okay, and you can call mother, after all, you are my son-in-law!"

Harry leaned over and whispered in Draco's ear, "Draco... I'm scared... I didn't think your mother was like this..."

Draco whispered back, "I didn't know she was like this either..."

Suddenly, Narcissa straightened up and said, "Well, down to business I suppose. I hate to break this to you in such a horrid way, but your marriage was planned."

Draco gaped. Harry gaped. Draco's mouth opened and closed like a fish. Harry yelled "WHAT!" and all hell broke loose.

"IT WAS AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE!" Draco screamed.

"Honey, I think you should calm down and-"

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR ONLY SON!"

Harry piped up and said in an offended tone, "Hey, it's not _that_ bad!"

"SHUT UP!" screeched Draco.

Harry shut up.

"MOTHER! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!"

"Well... if you give me a minute I could explain everything, just calm down..."

There was no chance in hell that Draco was going to calm down soon.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS TO ME! WASN'T I A GOOD SON! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!"

Harry saw Mrs. Malfoy get fed up with her son long before she started her outburst, but he didn't have time to warn Draco before Narcissa began to scream in a voice that far overpowered her son's.

"DRACO! I TOLD YOU TO CALM DOWN, NOW I WANT YOU TO **CALM DOWN**!" she screamed. The effects of her yell were immediate. Draco stopped shouting and sat down on a couch that was nearby. Narcissa smoothed out her skirt, although there were no creases on it anyways, and began to talk in a sweet, normal voice.

"There is a perfectly good and logical reason on why I had to make sure you and Harry were wed. You see, my thoughts were that if you two were married in an ancient ritual, then your magic would strengthen and Harry could defeat the Dark Lord, with you at his side!"

Draco and Harry sat stunned. "How did you get me to barf on Draco's foot?" Harry asked at last.

Narcissa laughed. "Oh, simple magic. You see, I made sure that you were paired together for potions, and then got the house elves to put a potion that would make you sick into your food so that it would begin to act when you were in potions... then, I put a barf-attracting spell on Draco's shoes so that it would make sure that your barf would land on his foot. Severus was ordered to make you go through the door with Harry in your arms, and there you have it!"

There was a stunned silence until Draco mumbled, "Snape was in on this? I'm gonna kill him..."

"Draco! No killing the potions master!" Narcissa scolded. Draco grumbled a bit, but agreed that he wouldn't kill the potions professor.

"Well boys, I'm sorry to be here for such short a time with such strange news, but I really must be off! So long! Oh, and don't tell anyone what you heard here in this room... then again, I don't think you really needed me to tell you that," Narcissa smiled and began to walk out of the room. When she got to the door, she turned around and said, "Your marriage gifts should be coming in a few days, sorry they're late, I was a bit busy, goodbye Draco, goodbye Harry, hope to see you soon!"

And with that, Narcissa dashed from the room, leaving the two boys in a stunned silence.

"That was... odd," Harry said at last.

"I don't think 'odd' really does the whole thing justice. That was bit beyond 'odd,' don't you think?"

Harry nodded and the silence that had been so heavy in the room right after Narcissa left came back.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews! I have so many! As of nowI have forty two reviews! YAY! Thank you so so so so so so much! I would love to hear what you thought of this chapter, so pretty pretty please review! I will love you forever and worship the ground you walk on!**


	7. Divorced? I don't think so!

After Narcissa's visit, Harry and Draco had been brooding silently on their beds, seldom saying anything to one another. The brooding would go in cycles. They would sulk for a little while ponder, watch TV, trade a few words or have a small conversation, read a book or other such form of entertainment, and then go back to thinking silently on their separate beds. This particular session of brooding silence had been going on for three hours when Draco suddenly jumped up and ran out of the room. Harry stared after him wondering what the heck had gotten into the blonde's head. He soon gave up trying to figure out why Draco did what he did and went back to thinking about other matters.

* * *

When Draco reentered the room, Harry had turned the one wall which could transform into just about anything, into a television and was watching a show that Draco had never seen before. 

"Where've you been?" Harry asked lazily, never taking his eyes from the TV.

"I've been researching a way to get out of this marriage business, like a divorce or something, unlike you, who would rather sit on your lazy ass and watch the wall doing nothing to help get yourself out of the predicament you're in."

Harry bolted up and stared at Draco happily, "Did you find a way to get divorced?"

Draco sighed heavily, "Well... sort of..."

"What is it? What is it?" Harry was practically bouncing up and down like a little kid will when you promise them candy.

"Well, one way is for me to carry you back through the door that I carried you out of in the opposite direction, so going into the potion's room instead of out of it,"

"That's easy! C'mon, what're we waiting for! Let's go get divorced!" Harry shouted.

"Hold on, I'm not finished. Then, after carrying you back through the door, you have to take back what you so kindly barfed onto my foot."

Harry made a face, "You mean... like... _eat _it?"

Draco nodded. "But you see, even if you _did_ want to get divorced so badly that you would eat your own vomit, you couldn't, because _Snape_ obliterated it... Your barf no longer exists. It's gone. We're married and there's nothing we can do about it."

Nodding solemnly Harry went back to brooding, but Draco spoke up.

"I did see that because of this unusual ritual, our magic should strengthen... In one book I read it was said that this marriage ritual was used by an ancient magical tribe, the name of which I can't pronounce, in order to defeat a dark magic that was threatening the tribe's existence. In one account which was written in ancient runes, it says that there was a dark god who made it rain constantly so that no light would show through the dark clouds. The village flooded and the crops died, so the tribe used this ritual to marry two of the stronger tribesman so that they could overthrow this god that was being so cruel. It worked, apparently, and the tribe lived on for many more years before dieing out or moving somewhere different. Another strange fact about this whole marriage thing is that if a girl was to barf on a man's foot, and the man carried her through a door, they wouldn't be married. This ceremony can only bind a man to a man, not a man and woman... strange, isn't it?"

Harry nodded.

"Some of the reasons for this marriage are very strange... like here's one where a man's teeth were rotting and he thought there was an evil behind it, so he married himself to another guy in the tribe and preformed some spell to stop his teeth from rotting... by the time the married couple were to perform the spell though, all the man's teeth were already gone. The two got divorced," Draco shuddered as he said this, "and then there are a few other marriages like that one, but they are very scarce."

"Uh-huh... This is all very strange... are you sure there's no other way to get divorced? Cancel the marriage and all that?"

"I'm positive, you think I haven't looked?" Draco was almost angry.

"Sorry!" Harry held up his hands, "Just asking, I would love to get out of this marriage just as much as you would like to!"

Taking a deep breath, Draco calmed down and nodded his head, "Yeah, I know, of course, sorry."

"Did the great Draco Malfoy just say he was sorry?" Harry asked, an eyebrow raised.

"No! I mean yeah. I mean of course not!"

Harry chuckled. "Get your story straight darling! Oh! And while you were gone, Dumbledore came by and gave us these." Harry held up two wands, Draco recognized them as his and Harry's.

"Give me that!" Draco lunged for his, but Harry dodged out of the way.

"Beg for it!" yelled Harry as the blond ran at him again.

"Not on your life!" was the response. Harry chuckled and ran to the living room section of their dorm, Draco following closely.

"Give me that!" Draco screeched, leaping.

Harry tried to get out of the way, but tripped backwards falling to the ground with a thud, Draco landing on top of him.

Draco scrabbled for his wand, but Harry held them above his head, forcing the boy on top of him to inch forward a bit to reach for the wand. The boys were roughly the same height, so when Draco reached for the wand in Harry's hand, his face was level with his opponent's.

Harry could feel Draco's hands on his, trying to free the wand, so he did the only thing he knew he could do to stop the blond from getting the wand and hexing the living daylights out of him. He leaned forward and planted a kiss on Draco's lips. Sure enough Draco stopped moving, almost as if someone had cast a full body bind on him. Then he did the last think that Harry expected for him to do. He deepened the kiss.

Harry pulled back, surprised. Draco's eyes opened and they stared at one another for a long while before Draco leaned forward again, lowering his lips to Harry's. Just then, the door sprung open and Snape stepped into the room.

"OH GOOD LORD! MY EYES! MY EYES!" he screamed, covering both his eyes with his hands.

Harry and Draco looked at each other and burst out laughing.

Snape peeked out from behind his hands, "Are you two quite finished!"

This comment sent the two students into further fits of laughter, but they nodded anyways.

"Oh gods, my eyes..." he muttered to himself before walking over to the two boys who were lying on the floor in a rather... interesting... position.

"Up, both of you!" Snape ordered. The two were up immediately.

"I just wanted to inform you that you will not have potions tomorrow even though you are starting normal classes, because we are in the middle of a project and you will never catch up. You will, however write me a twelve inch paper about the theories of love potions and if they actually work, why or why not, explain your reasons, give detail. That is all," Snape walked out of the room muttering something about asking Dumbledore to wipe his memory.

Harry and Draco went and sat on the couch, still laughing, "Damn him, he came in at just the wrong moment!" Draco laughed.

Harry looked confused, "Wrong moment, I thought it was hilarious! Did you see his face; he wouldn't have had that expression if he had come any other time... haha! That was so great!"

"No, no, I mean, _at the wrong moment_," Draco hinted. Harry was still clueless.

Draco sighed, irritated. "WRONG MOMENT, YOU IDIOT!"

"I don't get it..." Harry said, and then his eyes lit up in a devilish way.

"Oh... you mean when you were about to do this...?" Harry asked, and crashed his lips against Draco's.

Draco almost nodded, but decided not to, seeing as that would ruin the whole snogging experience. Instead, he did what anyone would do in his position and kissed back. The kiss itself was, instead of passionate, fierce and, in a way, just another one of their fights to see who was better. Two tongues fought, two pairs of lips were harshly pushed against one another. Finally, they broke the kiss, both heavily panting from loss of oxygen.

They stared at one another in silence. Harry and Draco both had the distinct idea that this was a challenge, seeing who could beat the other, there was no emotion in it except for a brutal competitiveness, or at least, both of them wished there had been no emotion but both had felt a slight tingle as their lips touched, a leap of the heart, an irresistible urge to wrap their arms around one another. Of course, they refused to acknowledge that any of these things had happened to them and instead stared at one another their eyes saying everything that they wanted to keep to themselves.

"Hmm," Draco said at last.

"Yeah..."

"Well... I'm hungry, how about you?" Draco asked.

"Yeah, hungry..."

"Well, c'mon, let's go get something to eat," suggested Draco.

"Alright, good idea."

"I know."

"You know... I'm such a better kisser than you are," Harry boasted, although he didn't really mean it.

"You are not!"

"Oh, you know I am, c'mon, admit it!" Harry prompted.

Draco almost opened his mouth to say that, yes, Harry was a great snog partner, but instead said, "Alright, I call a rematch!"

Harry smiled wickedly, "Alright, you're on!"

* * *

**A/N: I have so many reviews! Thank you all so much! Oh, and especially thank you to ****_nljfs _for ****pointing out the divorce and stuff like that, it gave me the idea for this chapter, and I put in the snog scene for _Meg_, so there you go! **

**Oh yeah, and a lot of people have been commenting on the utter strangeness of the marriage ritual, and I'm glad you guys think it's funny! I decided I'd tell you where I got the idea so that it doesn't seem completely random, just a little random. So the idea came from two places. First, there's this comic called "_Get Fuzzy_" I don't know if you've ever read it, but there's a cat and a dog and owner of the two, and the cat barfs on the dogs foot and the owner says that in some cultures that means that the two are married. So I put that in this story, because I thought that it was a wierd way to get married, and I love wierd. Then, I got the idea for carrying Harry out the door because in ancient Roman wedding ceremonies, the husband would have to carry his new wife through the door so that she wouldn't trip and cause bad luck on the newly weds, andthe carrying of the wife through the door was the last part in their ceremony.**

**For the divorce, in ancient tradition, one way to get married was to jump over a broom (this originated from the pagan religion, I think, if someone wants to double check me on that, please do) anyways, so to get divorced, you'd jump back over the broom in the opposite direction, so that's where the carrying through the door in the opposite direction idea came from, and then I figured for the divorce you'd just do everything backwards, so if you vomit something up, you'd have to eat it again to get divorced. (Gross, I know, but they're wizards, they can transform the barf into ice-cream or something, so it wouldn't be totally gross)**

**So now you know where the whole ceremony came from! **


	8. You Know You Love Me!

"Harry, stop dragging your feet!" Hermione scolded, "And don't look so drab! You've had a week off from school work and Ron and I have had no vacation time, so could yourself lucky!"

"But 'Mione..." Harry whined.

"Don't 'but Hermione' me! I don't want to listen to you complain about your school work! You've had a week's vacation and I bet you didn't study for a second! Now shut up and stop dragging your feet!"

Harry stopped dragging his feet, albeit reluctantly. As Harry rounded a corner, he saw Draco pass him, and smiled brightly. Draco almost returned the gesture, but caught himself in time. Of course, Hermione didn't miss a beat.

"Hmm... looks like someone's got themselves a bit of a crush, eh Harry?" she prompted.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" was the quick reply.

Harry had told Hermione and Ron about having to room with Draco Malfoy, but he had conveniently left out the portion about them being married. He had told his friends that as punishment, he had to room with his rival. He also left out all parts in which the two had been friendly towards one another. It wasn't lying... just not telling the whole truth.

"Oh, c'mon Harry! You can't hold these things from me! Plus, all girls have a special sixth sense," Hermione replied.

"A sixth sense? You mean like reading people's minds? Oh, c'mon Hermione! All wizards and witches can read minds, you just have to know the proper spell! That's nothing special!"

"No, Harry, I mean all girls, even muggle girls!"

"Yeah, some muggles have a sixth sense... but they're not all girls..." Harry was confused and Hermione could tell. She sighed irritably and tried to explain.

"All girls can tell who likes who, even muggle girls can do that... not all, granted, but enough of us. I just so happen to be blessed with that little gift, and I can tell, you like him... and guess what?"

"What?"

"He likes you, too!" she finished enthusiastically.

"I doubt that Hermione..."

Hermione flipped her hair in response, "Doubt all you'd like, but I'm telling you, you both like each other! Wait and see! It'll turn out I'm right!"

Harry watched his friend walk down the corridor to her next class in wonderment. _Not only is she the best Witch in the entire school, but she's practically a mind reader... how does she know these things!_

* * *

Harry trudged up to his dorm room and moped past Draco, who was sitting on the couch eating some pumpkin pastries. He plopped down into bed and lay there until Draco came in, munching on a chocolate frog.

"What's up with you?"

Looking up, Harry grabbed a leg off of the frog Draco was eating and stuffed it into his own mouth before burying his face into the pillow.

"Well that was rude..." commented Draco.

Harry mumbled something into his pillow, so Draco grabbed his roommate's hair and pulled his head up.

"What'd you say?"

"Ouch."  
"That's not what you said!" Draco replied.

"I know. I said ouch because you hurt."

Draco shrugged, "Too bad, what'd you say?"

"I just said that rude is my specialty."

"So I noticed. What's got you down in the dumps?"

"And you would care because...?" Harry asked.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Because I love being in your business and under your skin. Now cough it up, what's bugging you?"

Harry let out a resigned sigh, "Hermione knows more about me than she should, and then some kid kicked me in the shin today for absolutely no reason, I was cursed three separate times by three different people for no apparent reason, and then I learn that people have been making my life a living hell because they think that I'm turning into a Slytherin."

Draco nodded, "Mhm..." he said, "And what else, there's gotta be something, people don't get all grumpy like this for those lame reasons you gave me... well, a person like you doesn't get depressed like this."

"Alright, fine. Millicent Bulstrode hit on me today."

Draco made a face and a hiss of disgust, "Ah... that explains the depression."

Harry laughed lightly, "Yeah... well, the whole Hermione thing is really weird... did you know that girls can tell who likes who without being told?"

"Oh... that sixth sense thing?"

Harry nodded.

"Yeah... Pansy can do that... it's really creepy, don't you agree?"

This question was followed with vigorous nodding from Harry. "I don't see how they do it... _I_ certainly can't do it! Can you?"

Draco shook his head.

_Well, that's good..._ Harry thought to himself.

"Hey, Draco?"

"Yes scar-head-who-used-my-first-name-without-permission-to-do-so?" Draco smiled sweetly and Harry could tell he was joking and not being mean.

Harry also smiled, "You're a bastard."

"I know," the smile was still in place.

"But thank you, for listening and all that. I don't want this to get all emotional, though."

"Of course!"

There was an awkward silence for a little while before Harry hugged Draco tightly, Draco hugged back a bit clumsily, as though he was unused to hugs. Then, out of the blue, Harry whacked the boy he was hugging over the head with a pillow.

"HEY!" Draco yelled, "What was that for!"

"I told you I didn't want the moment to be all awkward and emotional, so I brought things back into our regular means of interaction."

"Hitting people over the head with pillows!"

"Exactly! We are most comfortable around each other when there is a slightly violent nature in our conversations, so I hit you over the head to eliminate awkwardness!" Harry said happily.

"You are completely and totally insane," Draco mused.

"I know!" this comment was followed with a quick thwack with the pillow.

"Why you little..." Draco grumbled, fetching his own pillow and attacking the brunette.

* * *

"So.." whack "who do you..." whack "like?" Harry asked, hitting Draco whenever he could.

"Like I'd tell..." thwack "you," Draco replied.

"Suit yourself!" Harry said, getting an especially good hit in.

"Not..." thwack, "you," said Draco, concentrating on getting Harry back for the smack he had received.

Harry said nothing, but tried even harder to hit his opponent.

"Aww... did I hurt your feelings?" Draco taunted.

In response, Harry dropped his pillow and dove at Draco, kissing him, the blond kissed back as soon as their lips met.

"Don't like me, eh?" Harry asked as he pulled back, an eyebrow raised.

"Nope, I just like a good snog partner every now and then, and let's face it; you're a good kisser... not better than me, of course, but good."

Harry shrugged, "Believe what you wish, but let's face it, you love me!"

Harry laughed and sauntered off to his bed.

"I do not!" protested the blond, but his objections fell on deaf ears, because Harry was already asleep.

_Damn him..._ Draco thought to himself. He looked over to where Harry was laying and whispered, "You know, I think I'd envy whoever you end up with... you are a damned good kisser."

"I know," was the reply.

"You were awake!" screeched Draco.

"But of course!" Harry responded, sitting up, a smile on his face, "Awful Slytherin of me, wasn't it? You must be rubbing off on me..."

Draco started grumbling and stalked off to the bathroom for a nice hot shower to wash away some of the anger he was feeling towards his roommate.

"Oh, don't deny it, you know you love me!" Harry called after the blond.

In response Draco flipped him off over his shoulder. Harry chuckled, changed into his pajamas, and settled into bed.

* * *

_I really do hate him sometimes..._ Draco was thinking.

**_But he has a point, you know you like him..._ **said that annoying portion of his conscience.

_How many times have I told you to go away and keep your opinions to yourself?_

**_I don't know... a lot... Anyways, you can't get rid of me, I'm your innermost thoughts... the ones that always tell your upper conscience the truth..._ **

_I hate you... I hate you as much as I hate Potter._

**_Hmm... So you like me? That's nice to know! _**

Draco let out a low growl. He really did hate his subconscious thoughts... mainly because he hated people who were always right.

* * *

**A/N: yay! Another chapter, and everyone who's reviewed have been so kind! I have tons more reviews than I thought I would have for this story and it makes me really happy! Thank you _Meg_ for your comment!**

**I love you all, everyone who's reviewed!**

**Oh, and in this chapter, I modled Hermione after one of my friends who can always tell who likes who with no one telling her. It's really handy, but quite strange. So yeah... this chapter is dedicated to all those people who can, or have friends who can, tell who likes who without being told. I've never been able to do it... I can tell sometimes, but not all the time, like my friend can. She's never been wrong. **

**Anyways, thank you everyone for reviewing! Please continue to review, I love seeing what you think of my chapters and overall story! It's wonderful to hear your comments, and if you haven't reviewed yet, please do! **


	9. Bowling pins

"I hate mornings... I really do despise them," Draco grumbled, tumbling out of bed.

"Draco, it's no longer morning... It's one o' clock in the afternoon... I didn't know it was possible for a person to sleep that long..." Harry mused.

Draco grumbled something that Harry didn't catch and fell out of bed.

"OOF!"

Harry chuckled and clapped a bit, "Bravo, bravo! What grace! What talent!"

"Shut up," Draco warned, shuffling off to the bathroom to brush his teeth and splash some water on his face to wake up a bit.

Harry stood outside the lavatory door, speaking to Draco as he brushed his teeth.

"So, since today's the weekend. I was thinking that I should go down to Hogsmede with Hermione, Ron and Seamus. That way we could have some time away from each other... I think it's a good idea, what do you think?" Harry asked.

Draco almost spewed his toothpaste onto the bathroom mirror when he heard the name 'Seamus.' It was a well-known fact that Seamus had been trying to get Harry's attention for as long as he had known him. It was also a well known fact that Dean had been trying to get Seamus' attention for a while. Harry was the only one who didn't realize that Seamus was constantly flirting with him, and Seamus was the only one who didn't know that Dean was basically in love with him.

"Why Seamus?" Draco blurted before he could stop himself.

There was a confused silence from Harry for a while before he replied, "Because he's my friend... Actually, he's the one that invited me to have a few butterbeers... I just invited Ron and Hermione along because I don't know Seamus all that well... I mean, he's a nice guy, I would just feel better if I had some really good friends with me, you know?"

Draco nodded, then remembered that Harry was on the other side of a door and couldn't see him, so he said, "Yeah, I get it... I don't have anything to do today, I guess I'll just laze around and practice Quidditch or something."

Harry shrugged, "Okay, have fun with that, well, I'm off!"

"Wait, you're leaving now!"

"Yeah... have fun with the Quidditch practice!" Harry shouted over his shoulder as he left the room.

That was when Draco made up his mind to spy on Harry and Seamus for the day, just to make sure that Seamus didn't get too friendly with Draco's spouse. After all, what could go wrong?

* * *

"Hey guys! How're you?" Harry greeted his three friends who were sitting down at a booth.

"Great!" The three chorused.

"So what's life like with Draco Malfoy?" Hermione asked.

"Well... It's different than expected, that's for sure," laughed Harry. The other three laughed too, Hermione because she knew that Draco and Harry liked each other, Ron laughed because Hermione was laughing, and Seamus laughed because Harry was laughing.

"So... How're you guys?" Draco heard Harry ask. Draco was concealed behind a large potted plant, so that hopefully no one would see him there. His plan was to follow Harry and Seamus wherever they went, and make sure that Seamus kept his distance... he hadn't figured out the particulars of the plan yet, like how he was going to stay hidden, but he was sure it would come to him sometime.

A few minutes had gone by and nothing much had happened except Draco's leg had fallen asleep and the blond had fallen over while trying to wake it up again. The group Draco was watching turned slightly to see what the noise in the bushes had been, but Seamus said something funny and the other three turned back around and laughed, forgetting all about the bushes.

Another while had passed when the group finally got up and split up, Hermione going with Ron, Seamus going with Harry, to go and shop around. Harry immediately wanted some candy, so they headed for the sweets shop, a little ways from where they had been enjoying their drinks. Draco followed.

On the way to the shop, Seamus began to walk closer and closer the Harry, but Harry would inch away from Seamus every time the Irish boy got closer. Seamus, however, didn't notice this, so he kept trying to walk nearer to Harry.

"Seamus, are you okay?" Harry asked finally.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well... you can't seem to walk in a straight line..."

"Oh. Sorry," Seamus replied, somewhat mad that Harry had noticed. Draco almost laughed at the exchange of words.

Finally the two walked into the sweets shop, Draco followed, hiding behind a few barrels containing chocolate frogs. Unfortunately for him, he didn't notice that there was a spout coming out of the wall which was dripping chocolate. These spouts were placed sporadically throughout the shop so that one could put the melted chocolate into a cup and either make hot chocolate out of it, or some other dessert that they so desired. This particular spout that Draco's head was under was leaky, though, so by the time Harry and Seamus left the shop with huge bags of candy, Draco's hair was dripping with molten chocolate.

Draco followed Harry and Seamus down a strange alley to a trashcan where Seamus picked up an old banana peel and told Harry to lay a hand on it.

"Port key..." Draco whispered. Seamus was whispering the time until the port key would activate, so Draco prepared himself to leap and touch the banana when Seamus got to one.

"Four... three... two... one..." Draco reached up and grabbed hold of the port key. There was a tug behind his navel and when his feet touched ground he immediately realized his surroundings as another alley and ducked behind a trashcan.

"Did you hear that?" Harry asked, looking at the trashcan Draco was hiding behind.

"No, I didn't hear anything, c'mon, this alleyway gives me the creeps, and we only have a little while in America before we need to get back to Hogwarts!" Seamus replied, grabbing Harry's hand and tugging him along.

Draco growled at the physical contact, but did nothing, lest he was discovered.

Quickly sneaking out of the alleyway, Draco followed the two boys to huge carnival set up on a field. There were tons of muggle contraptions that held screaming people. Draco read a few signs that were set up to realize that the muggles called them 'roller coasters.' Very strange.

Lost in a trance and the strangeness that was surrounding him, Draco almost forgot to follow Seamus and Harry. He remembered them in time, though, because he saw them dart around a corner and disappear into a crowd of people in a clearing. Draco followed quickly. In the center of the clearing were a few people with their faces painted white. They were holding funny looking things which Draco heard a muggle call a bowling pin. Draco looked around for the two boys he was following, and caught sight of them across from him in the ring of people.

When the funny looking muggles went to different people throughout the crowd and their attention was no longer on the bowling pins, Draco used a bit of magic to make himself invisible for about ten seconds as he ran out to the center of the circle and, using another bit of magic his father had taught him, disguised himself as one of the pins. This magic would only last for fifteen minutes, but it was very useful for spying purposes. For example, although Draco was an inanimate object, he still had all of his senses, and could easily see Harry and Seamus. So far, nothing bad was going on between the two. Luckily.

Just then, the things with white faces, someone in the crowed called them 'mimes' other called them 'clowns,' Draco wasn't entirely sure what they were, but they came back to the center of the circle and picked up a few bowling pins. One of these pins wasn't a pin at all, but was, in fact, Draco Malfoy.

_Oh crap_... Draco thought before being flung up into the air and juggled.

_I'm gonna barf, I'm gonna barf... _he kept thinking over and over.

Suddenly, he stopped moving and was thrown onto the ground. _Ouch..._ he thought to himself, but was very relieved that the show was over... no, wait...

Just then Draco was picked up and put next to another bowling pin. He looked ahead of himself and saw a small child holding a ball with three holes in it. _Hmm... Wonder what that's for..._ he asked in his head. Draco soon found out what the kid was going to do with the rather large, heavy, ball.

The only bit of luck Draco had during his experience as a bowling pin was that when the bowling ball hit him, he was flung upwards and landed just outside of the crowd, which had grown smaller as the day dragged on. He quickly transformed himself back into a person and followed Seamus and Harry back to the alleyway with the port key. As soon as he was back in Hogsmede, Draco took off for the school making it back to his dorm room roughly six minutes before Harry.

"Whoa! What happened to you!" Harry asked, shocked, when he walked into his room to find Draco laying on the couch with bruises all over and a rather haggard look to him.

"Ouch..." Draco groaned.

"That really doesn't explain much... geez... you did this to yourself during Quidditch _practice_? You weren't even playing a game! Or were you?" Harry asked.

"Ouch..."

Harry gave an irritable sigh, "Never mind. I give up. You're not going to tell me what happened, so I'll just leave you to suffer alone."

Harry stalked out of the room, leaving Draco on the couch.

"Life hates me..." Draco said theatrically, slapping a hand down over his eyes. He immediately cried at the pain of having to move, and the pain of smacking himself when he was already badly bruised.

Harry came running back in when Draco let out the shriek of pain.

"You big baby..." Harry mumbled, but with no real malice. "C'mon, I'll take you to Madame Pomfrey and we'll get your bruises all fixed up, okay?"

Draco nodded and fell asleep in Harry's arms as he was being carted off to the infirmary.

The sleep didn't last long though, because on the way up the stairs to Madam Pomfrey, Harry accidentally hit Draco's head against the wall, making the boy howl in pain again.

* * *

**A/N: Yay! Another chapter! I had writer's block for a little while, but I'm over it now, YAY! So, in the next chapter, the true plot will come into play!Dumbledore will have relatively bad news, and Draco and Harry's magic will strengthen because of the rather strange marriage ceremony. **

**Please continue to review, all of you who've been reviewing, and if you haven't reviewed yet, please do! I will love you forever, and it's really great to see what everyone thinks of my story!**


	10. Veritisium!

When Harry finally did reach the infirmary, something curious began to happen. Draco started to heal. All cuts and bruises began to fade and Draco noticed that his headache, which had been raging unrelentingly, had now receded until it was only a dull throbbing, and soon that too faded away.

"Wha-?"

"I don't know..." Draco responded to Harry's unintelligently worded question. "I didn't do anything, did you?"

Harry shook his head. "Do you think we should tell anyone about this?"

"Well... what do you think they'll say? It's not as though this is really _unusual_, seeing as we're wizards and all... It could easily have been a subconscious healing spell."

Harry gave Draco a look, "Subconscious healing spell? Draco, those are very rare and you know it! Plus, they only happen when people are in dire need of being healed, and now that there are hospitals set up everywhere, those survival instincts to use magic without knowing that you've done so have basically vanished from the genetic make up of our being. You should know that. You take History of Wizards. I only learnt it from Hermione."

Draco sat in a stunned silence for a second before saying, "Never sound that smart again. It doesn't suit you."

Harry hit the blond on the head. "Shut up."

* * *

"Hermione?" Harry whispered upon entering the library.

Hermione's head poked up from behind a large stack of books, and Harry quickly walked over to her, plopping down in one of the chairs.

"Hey Harry, how's Draco?"

"Well, I actually came to see you about him... You see, I came back to Hogwarts, and Draco was all beat up, and-"

Hermione cut him off, "Is he okay!"

"Oh yeah, he's fine, which is what I came to talk to you about. When I was taking him up to the infirmary he was as beat up as ever, but when I got near the hospital wing, he began to heal, and when the healing stopped... there wasn't a scrape on him!"

"How did he get beat up, do you know?" Hermione asked, making Harry sigh irritably.

"I don't know! I didn't ask! I was a little preoccupied with the fact that he healed himself without a spell!"

"No need to get angry!" Hermione told him, and Harry calmed himself down.

"Would it, by any chance, have to do with a bond of some sort? I mean, just being with each other for long enough might result in a sort of bond which _could_, although highly unlikely, strengthen your magic a bit..." Hermione said.

"The bond! Of course!" Harry whispered to himself, "thanks 'Mione! I owe you one!"

Hermione watched Harry with a confused look on her face as he ran out the door.

* * *

"I KNOW WHY YOU HEALED!" Harry screamed as he ran into the room he shared with Draco.

"Shut up for a second, I'm watching TV!" came an irritable voice from the bedroom.

"But this is important!"

"Stop whining! This is the important part!"

Curious, Harry walked into the room to see just what Draco was watching on TV.

"You're watching a _soap opera_!" Harry practically yelled in disbelief.

"SHUT UP FOR A SECOND!" Draco screeched. Harry did as he was told, but had to exit the room because he was laughing too hard.

After a while, Draco stepped out of the bedroom to see his husband. "Now what did you want?"

"You were watching a _soap opera_!" Harry laughed.

Draco had a puzzled expression on his face and said, "A what?"

"A soap opera, it's a TV show that's just one trama after another, and where you discover that people who died, aren't dead..."

"Oh yeah, there was one guy on there who everyone thought had died, but then, they discovered that he had been living in disguise as their butler!" Draco's eyes were full of delight at the discovery of the television and soap operas.

"Anyways. I can't believe that _you_ of all people would be watching a soap opera. But that's not what I came here to say, I figured out how you healed yourself!" Harry was practically swelling with pride, being able to tell Draco something that he didn't already know.

"I know how I healed myself," he said nonchalantly, and walked over to the fridge to retrieve a soda.

Harry's jaw fell. "But, you, uh... how do you know?"

"Well, I was sitting here thinking... 'what could have made me heal?' when it occurred to me. The bond of course!" he smirked, "And I bet you didn't figure it out by yourself, you probably had help from that Granger girl."

Harry growled, half because he didn't like Draco figuring it out before him, and half because he didn't like Draco being right.

Raising an eyebrow at Harry, Draco took a sip from his soda. Harry was about to retort, perhaps tackle him or some other such form of anger, but thought better of it.

"How'd you get beat up in the first place?" he asked, with almost a smug tone to his voice, knowing full well that Draco wouldn't like the idea of telling anyone he was beat to a pulp.

Harry was right, Draco gagged on his soda and stood coughing for a bit before choking out, "What?"

"You know, when I found you, you were all beat up, so I was wondering how you got all of the bruises and such on you."

"Well, you see, I was... well, wrestling! Wrestling with Crabbe and Goyle, and they're so stupid, they don't know when they're actually hurting someone, so I... got hurt!" he finished lamely.

"Uh-huh," was the incredulous reply.

"It's true!"

"I'll be right back," was all Harry said.

"Hey, where're you going?" demanded Draco.

"Be back!" and with that, Harry had run out the door with his invisibility cloak.

* * *

"Alright, I'm back!" Harry sung, coming back into the room. Draco quickly sat up on the couch.

"Where've you been?"

"Getting this," Harry held up a vile of Veritiseum.

Draco paled.

"I figure that if you're telling the truth about how you got bruised and beaten, you wouldn't mind drinking some of this, and answering the question again, am I right?"

"About that... I wasn't being _completely_ honest... Just twisted the truth a _little_ bit, easily overlooked, right? I mean-"

Harry cut the blond off. "Drink it," he ordered.

"No."

"Yes."

"I refuse."

"I don't care."

Draco gaped in mock surprise and gave a pitiful sniffle, "You don't care? But what about my comfort! Don't you care about me at all!"

"Draco, just drink the stuff."

Malfoy's tone of voice changed so it sounded more like a five year old, "No."

"Malfoy, you drink this right now or else," Harry warned.

"Or else what?" he challenged.

Harry had to think about this or a second. What could he possibly do to the bond git to get him to drink the stuff?"

"I'll... I'll hex you," he warned, although not very threateningly.

Draco raised an eyebrow, "So? I'll hex you back. Worse."

"I'll tell all your friends you kissed me!"

"I'll tell yours you kissed me back."

Both boys were glaring at each other now.

"I'll make Millicent Bullstrode send you a howler which confesses her love for you," Harry was sure that this would work.

"You could do that?" Draco asked.

Harry nodded.

"Well, then I'll make Neville Longbottom send _you _a howler confessing his love for you."

"I don't think Neville would do that."

"Imperious curse, does wonders."

"That's Dark magic! You can't use that, it's cheating!"

"Fine, I'll use the black mail I have on him to get him to send the howler, how's that?"

The two went back into the glaring contest.

"Fine!" Harry finally yelled out, "I'll get you to drink this later, I have to go see Seamus right now anyways."

"Wait!" called Draco as Harry started heading out.

"Hm?"

"Don't leave. You... ah... have homework!"

Harry quirked an eyebrow, "I finished it all. Now stop acting like Hermione," Draco cringed at this.

"You can't go!" Draco yelled.

"Why not?" demanded The-Boy-Who-Lived, in all his stubborn glory.

"Because... because... The only reason Seamus talks to you is because he wants to get into your pants!" Draco called out.

Harry got a funny look on his face for a few seconds before he bust up laughing.

"What?" Draco looked around wildly as if someone else had made Harry laugh. "I'm telling the truth!"

"You... haha... are worried... snort ... that Seamus," Harry couldn't finish his sentence, he just kept laughing.

"What! You don't believe me!" Draco was outraged.

Harry laughed harder.

"Stop laughing, I'm not joking!"

Harry stopped long enough to chortle, "I know!" before he lapsed back into hysterical giggling.

Now Draco was completely confused, a feeling that he didn't like. "Then why are you laughing!"

"Because you sounded," Harry busted up again before continuing "You sounded... Jealous!"  
Draco blinked for a few seconds before realizing it was true. He _had_ sounded jealous.

"I'm not!" he argued feebly.

"Drink the Veritisium and we'll find out!"

"Fine!" Draco yelled angrily, and downed the whole vile before he fully comprehended what he had done.

"Shit," was all he said as Harry's already victorious expression turned more smug.

* * *

**A/N: **Mwahaha! What shall we all find out while Draco is under the power of the truth potion? I think we all already know! But that's okay, you'll find out next chapter anyways!

Okay, so, a few things, first of, thank you all for reviewing! I have over a hundred reviews (everyone, give you a round of applause, because I know I'm clapping for you reviewers. You have made me really happy! Over a hundred reviews and I'm not even halfway through! That, is what I call AWESOME!)

Also, I'm sorry for any mistakes, but I'm sorta tired right now because I'm in band camp marching for nine hours a day (yes, I am a band geek and proud of it!). So yeah... please just tell me about anything I did wrong, and I'll try and fix it (when I'm not tired...)

All that's left for me to say is _please review!_ It really does mean a lot to me that you guys tell me what you think of my story (even just giving me a little smiley face or something like 'good' or 'needs improvement' would make me really happy!) I'm just glad you people take the time to tell me how my story is! Please keep it up!


	11. Challenge!

Rubbing his hands together in what he hoped looked malicious and predatory, Harry circled his victim, AKA Draco Malfoy.

"How did you get beat up?"

Draco responded dully, "What time?"

Harry looked surprised for a second before asking, "How many times have you been beat to a pulp?"

"Three."

"By whom?"

"The first time was by my cat, Snowy. She wasn't happy I was pulling on her tail. That was when I was two. The second time was by Weasely and company, when I made fun of Granger. The third time was when I followed you and Seamus."

Harry quirked an eyebrow. "Me and Seamus?"

"I followed you to America, and turned into a bowling pin so I could keep an eye on you two. So Seamus wouldn't try anything funny. It hurt, being a bowling pin."

Harry tried very hard not to laugh, but didn't succeed and busted up. When he had calmed down, he continued, "Were you jealous just now when I was going to go meet Seamus?"

"Yes."

"Excellent..."

Draco said nothing, but Harry noticed the effects of the Veritisium beginning to wear off, and thought it best to leave the room. He wasn't fast enough.

As soon as Harry had reached the exit, he was thrown forward by Draco diving onto his back.

"I ought to beat you up worse than what happened to me!" he screamed.

Harry laughed and replied, "You named your cat Snowy?"

Draco punched, but was amazed to find that even though he hit the boy beneath him quite hard, it seemed as though he hadn't felt a thing. Harry also looked surprised at this.

"What the fuck...?" Draco punched again, and Harry was unaffected.

Harry's turn, he brought up his knee into Draco's groin, but the blonde's face betrayed no pain, or even acknowledgement that Harry had kneed him!

"The bond," they both said at the same time, and rolled away from each other to glare instead.

* * *

A few hours later, Harry was trying to apologize for the truth potion, and Draco continued to sulk, completely ignoring the boy.

"C'mon Draco! I never meant for you to be mad at me! Really!" Harry pleaded.

"Hmph."

"Draco!"

What!"

"Talk to me!"

"I just did."

"No, say something else.

"Something else. Are you happy now?"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!"

Draco only shrugged.

"Draco, I'm sorry!"

"Okay."

"Forgive me?" Harry gave Malfoy the puppy eyes.

"No."  
The eyes grew wider.

"I said no!"

Harry's lower lip came out just a tad.

Draco hesitated a bit before firmly saying, "No!"

The lower lip trembled.

"FINE!" Draco screamed, throwing his hands up in defeat. "I forgive you! Under one circumstance!"

"Yeah?" Harry replied eagerly.

"Got any Veritisium left?"

Harry gulped.

* * *

"What is your full name?"

"Harry James Potter."

"What's the worst thing you've ever thought about doing?"

"Killing my husband."

"You thought about killing me!" Draco screeched.

"Yes."

Slightly angry, Draco continued. "What's the _second_ worst thing you've ever thought about doing?"

"Turning Snape into a strange animal and giving him to Hagrid."

"That could actually be fun..."

"Would you be jealous if I snogged Weasley?"

"Sort of."

"What do you mean 'sort of!'" Draco had expected a flat out 'yes.'

"I would be at first, but then I would realize you were doing it just to make me jealous, because you would never snog Ron... and then Ron would punch you, and I would laugh and not be jealous."

"If you could change three things about your life, what would they be?"

"Voldemort would not exist, and I wouldn't be famous. My parents would be alive, and I would have a real marriage."

"To whom?"

"Draco Malfoy."

"Yes..." Draco grinned maliciously.

Harry was beginning to come out of the Veritisium's hold on him, so Draco quickly asked on last question.

"Would you shag Draco Malfoy?"

"Maybe."

* * *

"Maybe!" Draco was yelling.

"Sorry! It was an honest answer!"

"But maybe! It would have been just fine if you had said 'yes!' but you say _maybe_! _Everyone_ wants to shag Draco Malfoy! What's wrong with you!"

Harry only shook his head. "You need to keep your ego in check."

"My ego is just fine. As a matter of fact, I would go as far as to say I am modest."

Harry snorted and some of the soda he was drinking flew out of his nose.

"Ouch."

"That was disgusting. And what's so funny about my being modest?"

"You were serious? I thought you were joking..." Harry answered, cleaning up the soda.

"Of course I was serious! I _am_ modest!"

"I bet you couldn't go one day without saying how great you are, or some other form of preening, bragging, or egotistical chit chat."

"I bet I could!"

"How's this. You go the entire day tomorrow without saying one egotistical thing, and I'll..."

"Dance around the room in your underwear?" supplied Draco.

"Huh?"

"Nothing!"

"Okay then... I was going to say that I would do whatever you asked, within reason, for a few hours."

"Hours? That's lame. Make it a day!" Draco replied, "Or better yet, a week, or a month or a year, or a decade or-"

Harry cut him off there, "A day, fine, a day! We'll leave it there. But if you lose, you do whatever _I_ say for a whole day, fair?"

Draco seemed to think it over for a little while before holding out his hand, "Deal."

They shook on it, each looking at each other, planning what they would make the other do when they lost.

* * *

**A/N: **Ha! Who shall win, and who shall lose! If you want, please give me suggestions, because I don't know! Anyways, hope you liked the chapter, and thank you all who reviewed! 


	12. Welcome to hell

He almost lost the bet at breakfast. It was while he was sitting at the Slytherin table as usual, and Blaise had come over. That was bad enough, but the following conversation made the whole bet thing seem a little harder than Draco had thought it would be.

"Hey Draco."

"Hey Blaise."

"What's up? Nice hair."

"Is something wrong with my hair!" Draco yelled, putting both hands up to his head immediately.

Blaise looked surprised, but then laughed, "No, I was just complimenting you!"

"A compliment? From you? Why, that's unheard of!"

"Yes well, who can help it, in my opinion, you are one sexy beast!"

Draco smiled proudly, and almost replied, 'Yes, well, of course, and it's not opinion, it's fact!' but barely refrained. What came out was a sort of subdued squeak as he stopped himself from saying anything.

"What was that?" asked Blaise.

"Nothing... just um... Does Potty look like an idiot today or what?" he said randomly, and suddenly the whole table was talking about how stupid Harry was, Draco sighed in relief and cast a smirk over in his husband's direction.

Harry only smiled.

* * *

The second time Draco almost lost the bet was during Potions.

"You're really good at this potions stuff, Draco," Pansy snorted, in what she assumed was a flirting tone.

"Hm," was all Draco said.

Pansy pressed up against him, and Draco had to suppress a shudder.

"Step back just a bit Pansy, I don't want you breathing my air."

Pansy laughed and sort of snorted and squealed at the same time, "Okay! Anything for Dracy-poo!"

"Don't call me that!" Draco snapped.

"But you're my little Dracy-poo," Pansy sounded almost offended.

"No, I'm not! It's all in your head!"

Pansy shrugged, "Then I like what's in my head."

Draco cringed.

"I like your hair..." said Pansy, sounding almost hypnotized, and she reached out a hand as if to touch it.

"No touching my..." he almost said 'beautiful hair, which, I must say, is the envy of the school.' But refrained and instead choked out, "hair."

"Something wrong?" Pansy asked, confused as to why Draco hesitated before saying 'hair' in an odd way.

"No... nothing wrong... uh, look! Neville's potion's going to blow up!" he cried, scooting away from Pansy.

Pansy stared raptly at the cauldron, even though it didn't blow up until the very end of class.

* * *

"How you holding up?" Harry asked in a smug tone of voice when he saw Draco at lunch.

"Fuck you."

"I know you want to, but please, not in a public place," Harry laughed.

Draco growled and made his fatal mistake, "I would never let my beautiful person come anywhere near your grubby figure!"

A few seconds passed before Draco clapped a hand over his mouth, screamed and ran off to his room. He wasn't seen for the rest of the day.

* * *

"I win! I win! I win!" Harry was singing as he pranced into the dorm he and Draco shared. His song was met by a pillow to the face.

"Awww... Cheer up, I knew you wouldn't win!"

"Go screw yourself."

"I'll pass."

Draco shrugged. "Don't blame you."

"You're just a sore loser."

"I am not!"

"Yes you are. You're a sore loser at everything. Even quidditch."

Draco couldn't deny that, well, not truthfully anyways, but luckily, truthfully wasn't his style, "I am not a sore loser!"

"I would make you a bet, but you already have to serve one day of servitude to me... wouldn't want to make it two, now would we?"

Draco grumbled something unintelligible, but besides that, said nothing.

"Well, I'm off to bed, can't wait for tomorrow... and guess what? It's a Saturday! No classes!" and with that Harry ran off to get ready for bed.

* * *

"Wake up Draco, it's a beautiful day, full of wonder and servitude!" Harry called brightly, trying to wake up Malfoy.

Draco grumbled and rolled over.

"C'mon, get up! That's and order!" Harry yelled into the blonde's ear.

"I hate you..."

"Is that any way to talk to your lord?" Harry laughed, running into the next room while Draco showered and dressed.

"Welcome to hell," Draco mumbled to himself as Harry left the room.

* * *

"M'k, here's the plan. We will go down separately to eat breakfast, and then meet back here for some fun, okay!" Harry ordered jubilantly

"Hate you," was all Draco said.

* * *

Breakfast was highly uneventful, besides Draco being in a worse mood than usual.

He ate as slowly as possible, opposite of Harry, who ate very quickly, and trudged up to his dorm a half hour after he was finished.

"Draco!" Harry yelled, excited when Malfoy finally showed up.

"Still hate you."

"That's nice. Anyways... to get down to business. What commands do we agree on that are absolutely out of the question?"

"All of them."

"I think that as long as we both keep most of our clothes on, anything goes. Sound good?"

"No."

"Glad you agree! Okay. Next order of business..." Harry seemed to think for a while, before getting a mischievous grin on his face. He strode over to where Draco was standing, draped his arms on Draco's shoulders, bringing the two of them together, then, getting closer ever second, and making Draco's eyes widen with something like excitement or anticipation, he said, "I want you, to..."

Now, Harry's mouth was not even an inch away from Draco's, and the blond could feel Harry's breath on his face, almost making him smile. Maybe this wouldn't be too bad, if all they did was snog throughout the day.

Harry got closer and closer, until his mouth was against Draco's, and just before Malfoy was going to start snogging the Boy-Who-Lived, Harry finished his sentence, "snog Millicent Bullstrode!"

With that, he pulled away, and Draco fell backwards on the couch glaring.

Harry was laughing hysterically and said, "Oh, don't deny it, you know you want me!"

"I hate you."

This sent Harry into more fits of laughter.

* * *

**A/N**: The votes came in, and Draco lost the bet! (as is clearly shown in this chapter!) Well... The hell day for Draco shall continue into the next chapter... and possibly the one after that... hope you all liked it! Thank you to everyone who reviewed! It means a lot to me! And thanx for helping me decide who won the bet! At first, I was thinking Draco should win... but I definitely like your guys' pick! Thank you again for reviewing! Please keep it up! 


	13. Hell Continues!

"Snog Millicent Bullstrode," Draco said in a high whining voice, mocking Harry. Draco was, at the moment, looking for Millicent Bullstrode, and hating it.

"Draco," Millicent said, passing him in the hallway.

"Bullstrode," Draco nodded, then quickly spun around. Damn. He had found her.

"Hey, Bullstrode!"

"Yeah?"

"Come here for a second."

Millicent seemed to hesitate for a bit before she lumbered over.

"What?"

Draco lunged forward, grimaced as he kissed the girl in front of him, and ran off. So it wasn't _exactly_ a snog... It was close enough, right?

* * *

Draco strode into the dorm where Harry was waiting, and the first thing the Gryffindor said to him was "You didn't do it."

"What! Of course I did! I did exactly what you told me to!"

"No you didn't."

Draco crossed his arms over his chest. "And do you have any basis to this argument?"

"Well, besides knowing your nature and excluding the fact that you're Slytherin, I would say that yes, I do."

Draco raised an eyebrow.

"You see, you didn't snog, or even actually kiss, Millicent Bullstrode."

Draco relaxed. Harry didn't have any argument at all. Sure, Draco hadn't actually snogged her, but he _had_ kissed her, Harry was only making up stories.

"And what makes you say that?"

"Because the Millicent you kissed in the hallway wasn't the real one."

Draco gaped, but quickly pretended he was only yawning.

"Of course she was real, I snogged her, didn't I?"

"No, you _kissed_, not snogged, me."

"I... uh... what?"

"You kissed me. It was a simple spell. Hermione taught it to me. If you have another's permission you can use their form for a few minutes. I was just testing to see if you would actually do what I told you. You didn't," Harry smiled.

"And _how_ exactly did you get Bullstrode's permission to use her form?"

Harry shrugged, "I just asked."

"Just asked," Draco repeated incredulously.

"Yeah. Oh, and I kissed her on the cheek,"

"That's it?"

Harry nodded.

"Have I mentioned I hate you recently?" Draco asked.

"Yes, I believe you have."

"Oh. Do you mind if I repeat myself?"

"No, go right ahead."

"I hate you."

Harry sighed contentedly, "We have such a healthy relationship, don't you think, Draco?"

Draco only walked out of the room.

* * *

"The day is still young, Draco Malfoy, and I have some errands for you," Harry said brightly, coming into the gloomily lit bedroom.

Draco was lying on his bed, face in pillow, sulking.

"I'm sure you're just dying to know what I want you to do!"

"Dying... that's a good choice of words..." Draco mumbled.

"So here's your first errand. I want you to go to Ron."

"The Weasel?"

"No calling him weasel!" reprimanded Harry. "Anyways, I want you to go up to Ron and tell him that you're sorry for anything you have ever done to him... and while you're at it, apologize to Hermione as well. And no calling either degrading names, or in any way screwing up what is suppose to be a perfectly sincere apology. Understand?"

Draco grumbled a few words which were impossible to decipher and got up out of bed, stomped out of the dorm, and slammed the door behind him.

* * *

"Weasley! Hey! Weasley!" Draco called through the fat lady's portrait.

"Will you please tone down your voice? I'm sure there are many students trying to study in this dormitory!" the fat lady scolded.

"WEASLEY!" Draco called louder, if for no other reason than to piss off the Gryffindor's portrait.

"What do _you_ want, Malfoy?" said a voice behind him.

"Hey! It's the weas- uh... it's Harry's friend!" Draco corrected himself.

"Yes. That's me. Harry's friend. Now, what do you want?"

"Um... well... is the mud- uh... other Harry's friend around?" the blond really felt like kicking himself at the moment.

**_Ah... what you do for love..._ **said the little voice in the back of Draco's head.

_Hey... I haven't heard from you in a while... it was sort of nice..._ _Oh, and by the way, I'm only doing this because I lost a bet. _

_ **Believe what you wish, I suppose...**_

_You are tap dancing on my last nerve... I'm telling you, you get out of my head, or shut up or I swear I'll-_

Ron's voice cut into Draco's mental argument with himself.

"I _said_, what do you want with Hermione?"

"Oh, I just wanted to see the two of you... you know... just a friendly visit... between enemies... the kind of stuff you see almost every day." Draco smiled... or tried to... it was more a grimace than a smile.

Ron tapped his foot. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to apologize!" Draco blurted, catching Ron off guard. "You know, for everything I've ever done to you. Well, I'm going back to my dorm, you probably have a lot of homework to do, so I won't keep you from it. So long!"

And with that, Draco ran back down the hallway towards his dorm, only to find Hermione and Harry hugging in the entrance.

"What is going on?" Draco asked.

"Oh good, you're here. I was telling Hermione that you had something to say to her," Harry smiled brightly.

"I'msorryforeverythingI'veeverdonetoyou. Goodbye!" Draco yelled, bulldozing Harry into the dorm and shutting the door.

"What was that all about!" Harry yelled at him.

"I apologized like you told me to."

"And then you ran me over trying to get into the door. What was _that_ all about!"

"Hey! You try apologizing to the people that you've been trained to hate. It's not so easy!"

Harry shrugged, the blond had a point.

"Anyways, I apologized. I think that I've done quite enough for the day, so I'm going to go lay down. Don't disturb me."

"Not so fast. Do one more _little_ chore for me."

"Just a little one?" Draco asked hopefully, with slight distrust in his voice.

Harry held his thumb and pointer finger a centimeter apart to demonstrate just how little a chore it was.

"Okay, as long as it's not embarrassing."

* * *

"NO! Absolutely not!" Draco yelled after Harry told him what the little chore was.

"You're my slave! We had a deal! You _have_ to do it!"

"I refuse! I would rather dress up in one of those stupid playboy bunny outfits than do this!"

"I'm sure that could be arranged... Wait... how do _you_ know what a playboy bunny is?"

"My mum dressed up as one for Halloween."

"Oh... That's bad."

Draco nodded. "That was one of those parties I stayed in my room."

"Don't blame you, but to get back on subject, you have to do it."

"NO!"

Harry sighed, and tapped his foot impatiently.

"It's not fair!" Draco whined.

"We made a deal. Plus, it isn't _my_ fault you can't go one whole day without worshipping yourself."

"Yes it is."

"How do you figure that?" Harry questioned.

"Dunno, but it is your fault."

Harry let it go. Draco was only stalling for time, and Harry wasn't going to let it happen.

"Do it, now! Or else I'll... I'll go snog Seamus," Harry smiled smugly, although he tried to hide it.

"You _wouldn't_!" Draco yelled before he could stop himself, then quickly added as casually as possible, "I mean, go right ahead, I don't care."

Harry snorted. "Well, seeing as you don't care... I think I will, see you in a bit!"

"No, wait! I'll do it!" Draco clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Really, aww, how kind of you!"

Draco grumbled incomprehensible words and glared menacingly at Harry, who completely ignored him.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry I haven't updated in so long! Nothing really happens in this chapter, so sorry for the lack of entertainment, too, but I've had LOTS of homework the past few days, and I've been hanging with my boyfriend, and I've had writer's block, so not much has happened with any of my fics. If any of you have any suggestions on what it is that Draco should have to do, please tell me, because all of my idea's aren't too great! Thank you lots! Thank you also to everyone who has reviewed! I love you people! 


	14. ABI!

"You can't turn back now Draco! You have to do it!" Harry urged.

"I don't want to," pouted Draco.

"You should have thought about all this _before_ you made a bet you were sure to lose."

"I was not sure to lose! You cheated!"

Harry sighed, "We've been over this before, how could I possibly cheat?"

"Maybe you put me under a spell or something!" Draco yelled.

"Just shut up and do it."

"No."

"Draco! Why are you such a child!"

"I am not."

Harry sighed again, not in the mood to argue.

"If you really want to chicken out, I'm sure that we could come to some sort of a deal..."

"I am _not_ chickening out!"

"Uh-huh," Harry replied incredulously.

Draco crossed his arms in front of him and began to pout. Harry rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in exasperation, "I give up, Draco!"

This statement made the blonde's eyes gleam and a smile spread across his face.

Just then the two boys heard footsteps approaching them from down the hallway.

"Quick, into the closet!" Harry whispered viciously, and dragged Draco into a small closet which was hardly visible, even if you were looking for it.

"How did you know this was here?" Draco asked, "and more importantly, why are we standing hiding in it if we haven't done anything to anyone yet? There's no reason to hide!"

Harry blushed and shrugged, "Just habit, I suppose, now shut up."

"Well... at least this is better than what _you_ were trying to get me to do..."

Grinning, Harry said, "You know it would have been funny... I can already picture you in a tutu dancing in front of the teachers staff meeting..."

Draco scowled, his bright grey eyes gleaming in the darkness "You are sick and demented, do you know that?"

Harry shrugged again, but remained silent. The footsteps had stopped outside of the closet and two people were talking in hushed tones.

All that Draco and Harry could here from their secret spot were the few random and garbled words... such as "poison," which was slightly disconcerting.

"Why are they talking in the middle of a hallway!" Draco whispered to Harry. "That's not very logical, is it? Anyone who happened to be passing by could hear them!"

"Well... this does happen to be the hallway where the Bloody Baron walks around... and we all know that it's off limits to students... so perhaps not as many people as you would think would here them... all the staff are already at their staff meeting, and they come on this floor for those, because the Bloody Baron wouldn't dare mess with Dumbledore... and... well... all the staff are gone... so technically... a hallway is a _very_ logical place to have a top-secret conversation about poison and such."

"Well... obviously not, because there are two people listening to them right now."

"But who would suspect two guys sitting in a supply closet that almost no one knows exists?"

Draco shrugged, and the two boys stopped talking immediately when they realized that the voices on the other side of the door had stopped talking, and the footsteps were receding.

Neither boy moved from their spot in the closet, until Harry said, "What am I leaning against?"

"Um... that would be a wall with some mops propped against it."

"Ah... and what is on my bum?"

Draco had the decency to blush and quickly moved his hand, "Nothing."

"Uh-huh..." was all that Harry said, not pushing the matter further.

"C'mon, let's go, you still need to show off your ballet skill to the teachers," Harry pushed against the door.

"What the...?" Harry muttered under his breath as the door refused to give way.

"What's up, can ickle-harry-poo not open the door?" Draco chided.

Harry responded with a low growl, quickly followed by an "oof!" as he ran against the door, in a feverish attempt to get it open.

The raven haired boy was sweating by now and looking rather scared.

"Calm down, Harry, it's only a closet..." Draco wasn't sure what to do... so he tried his hand at opening the door. "It must be locked from the outside... do you have your wand with you?"

Harry was sitting on the floor in the fetal position, muttering something about cupboards and locks.

"What's the matter with you!" Draco yelled.

Harry only looked up with terrified eyes, but managed to get shakily to his feet, and took out his wand, with a shaking hand, he whispered, a short spell to unlock the door.

There was a faint click, and Harry tried to open the door yet again, but it still wouldn't budge.

"They must have known we were here, and locked us in..." Draco contemplated.

Harry was shaking and turned around, seemingly surprised that the back of the closet was so close to him.

"Harry, calm down!" Draco ordered.

Harry continued shaking, but stopped trying to break down a wall.

All of a sudden, he stopped shaking, and grabbed onto Draco's hand. "_Abi" _he said. Draco was not sure what was happening. He had never heard of a spell like the one which Harry had just said.

_ "ABI!" _Harry yelled, louder than the one before. Draco was caught up in a sensation of supreme cold, but the warmth of Harry's hand on his kept him from shivering. Energy crackled in the air, and suddenly, the door flew away, ripped from the wall, despite any magical moorings it may have had, and went crashing into the opposite side of the hallway. Harry stumbled out, following the door, and collapsed onto the floor of the hallway.

Draco, unsure of what had happened, dragged Harry away from the door and the closet, and muttered _"repairo_," under his breath, the door immediately fixed itself, and the wall, which had cracks running through it because of its run-in with the door, patched itself over. Draco didn't even have time to realize he had just done wandless magic. All he did was pick up Harry and carry him as swiftly as possible to their dorm room, where he waited for the savior of the wizarding world to finally wake up.

* * *

**A/N: **I'm really sorry it's taken me so long to update! But here is some more of my story! The plotline is getting a little bit strange, but I'm hoping I can finish up this story in ten or less chapters, then finish my other one! Anyways, if you could please review it would be greatly appreciated, I love to hear any suggestions you might have, or anything else! Thank you so much! Hope you enjoyed the chapter, and I'll try to post another one by next weekend, but I don't make any promises! (Homework has been hell... so it all depends on how much homework I have! But I will definetly try to post!) 


	15. a snitch? and not the quidditch kind

"What happened back there, Harry?" Draco asked, his voice slightly concerned as he looked down at Harry laying on one of the beds in the hospital wing.

"Nothing," Harry muttered, not looking directly at his 'husband.'

Draco raised an eyebrow "I don't call that sort of spell 'nothing.'"

"Just drop it, Draco."

The blond sighed, but raised his hands to signify he was backing off. "Fine, then can I at least ask what spell that was?"

Harry shrugged "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"No, so fuck off, okay!" Harry yelled, then bit his lower lip, attempted to apologized, then just gave up on talking all together.

"Do you even remember what you said?"

Harry shook his head "No, not exactly."

"Abi. Does that mean anything to you, Harry?" Draco coaxed. The word rang a bell somewhere in his head, but he couldn't quite place it.

"Abi…" Harry rolled the word around in his mouth, before hesitantly shaking his head, "No…"

Draco sighed in exasperation "Stupid bond."

"You think the spell had something to do with this stupid marriage thing?"

Draco looked at Harry as if he were stupid "What else would it be! You shout a word you've never heard before and do some powerful wandless magic, then don't even know how you did it! That's not luck, Harry."

"Damn."

"Why damn?"

"Well… It would be really cool to know how to do something even Hermione can't do."

"What? Shout Abi?"

Harry glared "No, perform wandless magic."

"Oh. That. Well, don't get used to it."

Just then, Madame Pomfrey wandered into the room and began speaking to Harry "Well… You're fine, you can go back to your dorm, and I don't want to see you back here for a while! You've become too regular of a visitor."

Harry smiled, thanked her for helping him, and trudged back to his dorm.

"Well… It's too bad you never got to put that tutu on…" Harry said "But you know what that means, right?"

Draco's face dropped.

"It means you get to do some other embarrassing act to make up for it!" the boy shouted happily.

"Oh gods…"

"Hmmm… No tutu… I'll let that slide… but… something obscenely biological, perhaps?"

Draco's face lit up.

"No… never mind…"

Draco's face fell. "How about I make you a deal?" he offered.

This caught Harry's attention, "Yes…?"

"How about, I take you shopping and I get rid of all those ugly pieces of cloth you call clothing and buy you an entirely new wardrobe, and you'll forget the bet. Deal? I'll even pay for everything."

Harry began to laugh "Hell no! I would much rather see you dance in a tutu in front of the teachers than get some new clothes!"

Draco grumbled irritably.

"How about you do a pole dance for everyone during dinner?" Harry asked, his eyes lighting up.

"I'd get expelled!"

"Oh darn…" was the sarcastic reply.

Draco attempted to punch the other boy, but, as had been happening lately, Harry didn't register the hit.

"I hate this bond…"

"You and me both… Now, about the bet…"

"Will you shut up about that already! What do you want! Do you want me to stand up and do the cha-cha? Do you want me to admit that I lost! What do you want!" Draco almost yelled. Luckily the two were back in their room, so there was no one around to give the couple odd looks.

Harry smiled "Admitting you lost and you are a vain pratt would do quite nicely."

"That's all you want me to do!"

Harry smiled and nodded "Unless, of course, you want to do a pole dance during dinner…"

"What is with you and the pole dance? Am I really so sexy that you want to see me flaunt it?"

"No, I was more stuck on the fact that it would get you expelled."

Draco glowered, but said nothing, choosing, instead, to storm into the bed room. Harry promptly followed.

Draco was sitting on the bed staring very intently at the wall.

"Draco?"

"What!" was the irritated reply.

"What's wrong?" Harry's face was serious, and he had the distinct impression that Draco wasn't doing all this to get attention.

"Nothing."

"Draco, come on! I'm your spouse! Albeit against my own will… but…"

Draco snorted in response. "Nothing's the matter, so just bugger off, will you?"

Harry shrugged, "If you're not going to tell me, then why am I wasting energy on getting you to say something? I'll be in the library if you need me."

Draco watched Harry leave and couldn't stop himself as he said "Stay."

Harry turned around, slightly confused "Tell me what's wrong."

Sighing irritably Draco chose the less of two evils, "Do you really want me expelled?"

"No," was the prompt reply, "I was joking, c'mon, you know, sarcasm?"

"I know."

"Draco, you sound like a small child, c'mon, just tell me what's wrong!"

Harry wandered over to the bed where Draco was sitting and placed a hand on the blonde's cheek, guiding his head until he was looking at Harry. "Want me to kiss it make it all better?" He joked.

Draco grinned devilishly and touched his lips to Harry's, which was when the door chose to burst open.

"Hope I'm not disturbing anything!" called Dumbledore as he barged into the room and the two boys leapt apart, blushing slightly.

"No, you're not," Draco seethed, but if the headmaster heard the acidic tone in Draco's voice, he didn't acknowledge it.

"Well… as you both know, your marriage was planned…" Dumbledore began.

Draco and Harry both grumbled at the same time, but Dumbledore ignored them and continued.

"You've both noticed your magic getting stronger, I'm sure."

The husbands shot each other a knowing look, both thinking back to the wandless magic they had preformed earlier.

"I believe that this strength in magic is normal for the bond, but perhaps your magic is getting stronger than even the bond could create due to an unexpected event…"

Both boys' eyes popped open upon hearing this. They did not need another complication in their life right now…

"I have reason to suspect," Dumbledore was saying "that someone is plotting to kill Harry."

Draco and Harry only raised their eyebrows "That's all?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, someone's _always_ trying to kill Harry…"

"If it helps, I'll give you a hint with what his name starts with… V," Harry began, sarcastically.

"I know that!" Dumbledore suddenly boomed, irritated with the boys' lack of caring. "I have reason to believe that Voldemort has someone in this school working for him."

Harry glowered "Damn… Now I'm not even safe in my own school…"

Draco laughed "Hate to break it to you, but you were never safe in this school…"

"Shut up."

Draco only shrugged and turned to Dumbledore "Any idea who it is?"

Dumbledore shook his head "But from now on you are both taking extensive training in magic both duel and medical, and more muggle ways of defending yourselves, in case your wands prove ineffective."

"MUGGLE!" Draco screeched. Harry whacked him with a pillow.

"They're not _that_ bad you know…" Harry scolded.

"Training begins tomorrow after classes are finished. You will be meeting in my office as soon as you finish your last class. Don't be late," with that, Dumbledore exited from the room with a swish of his cloak.

Harry fell back on the bed, "He has a way of ruining moments, doesn't he?"


	16. Oh Chute!

Both Draco and Harry were going as slow has humanly possible at the end of the day. Draco was attempting to avoid the lesson in muggle fighting and Harry was attempting to tug him.

"Draco, c'mon, we have to get there soon, we'll be late!" Harry urged.

"Since when do you care about being late? I can't even remember the last time you were actually on time to Snape's class," was Draco's grumbled reply.

"But this is actually important!!"

Draco rolled his eyes and slowed down even more.

Harry glared, then whipped out his wand and shouted, "Wingardium Leviosa!"

Draco leapt into the air immediately as Harry smiled and continued on at a brisk pace, Draco floating behind him shouting obscenities.

* * *

The boys managed to make it to Dumbledore's office right on time. The headmaster was waiting for them and only slightly raised an eyebrow as he saw Draco float into the room rather than walk. 

"Alright, I'm here, can you put me down now?!" Draco shouted. This comment was followed by several obscene gestures and words. Either Draco was unaware the headmaster was watching, or simply didn't care. It was most likely the latter.

Harry shrugged and dropped the boy who fell with a heavy thud on the ground. The blond had to try very hard to not growl and hex the living daylights out of Harry as he stood up and dusted himself off.

Dumbledore paid no attention to the interactions between the two boys, both Draco's cussing and Harry's innocent smile, and simply waved a hand to indicate that both boys follow him.

As the group walked through Dumbledore's office, and past picture upon picture of old wizards whispering to each other and pointing at the entourage, Draco caught up to Harry and hissed in his ear, "You're going to pay for that, you know."

Harry shot the other boy an incredulous look, "You can't hurt me, remember?" Harry held his hand up as if he were twirling a flag, "Yaaaaaaay bond!"

Draco didn't respond just glared at Harry until he got so absorbed in his glaring he almost tripped over a chair as he walked. He therefore resorted to glaring straight ahead. Harry skipped beside him, humming an obnoxious tune.

"Here we are!!" called Dumbledore as they reached a small door in the very back of his ridiculously large office.

The headmaster tapped the door with his wand and it flew open. The bearded man quickly disappeared inside the rather dark crevice which had previously been a door.

The two students simply stood outside, looking at the darkness, waiting for some form of light to shine through. There was nothing.

"Aren't you coming?" Dumbledore called from inside.

Harry turned to Draco, "Well, I think I know what I'm going to make you do for losing the bet."

Draco stared into the blackness, "Hell no!! You go in there first!"

Both boys had a bad feeling about the room and neither could really place it. If Dumbledore was inside, though, it couldn't be _that_ bad, could it?

The Gryffindor inside Harry took over, "Alright, fine, I'll go first, you wimp!"

The Slytherin in Draco was pleased, "Score!" he yelled and shoved Harry into the gaping hole in the wall.

Draco immediately hated himself for his cowardice, however, as he heard Harry scream a scream which got slowly softer. That could mean only one thing, he was falling.

"Shit," Draco grumbled and took out his wand.

"Lumos," Draco breathed and the tip of his wand lit up. It offered only a small sphere of light, but it was enough to see that there wasn't a straight drop, it was more of a very steep slide.

Draco let out a heavy breath and closed his eyes, then jumped onto the slide. The ride wasn't so bad except that halfway down Draco came to a shocking and rather disturbing realization: the slide was slimy.

The blond landed in a heap at the end of the slide and immediately jumped up, whipping as much slime off of himself as he could. He attempted to cast a cleaning spell, but soon learned that magic didn't work in this hell hole.

He stopped flailing about for a second and was stunned to hear Harry giggling.

Draco spun around and glared, "What's so funny scar head?!"

Harry, still giggling, held up his hands and said, "You're such a pansy! It's just water and here you are smacking it off like it's some form of flesh-eating bug. Calm down!"

That was when Draco realized that he had been breathing heavily. He calmed himself down, but continued to glare, "Well how was I supposed to know that the stupid chute was covered in water?! Maybe it _was_ some flesh eating something or other!"

Harry just shook his head and turned around, heading towards a tunnel at the far end of the poorly lit cavern. It couldn't really be classified as a room since it seemed to be more cave-like than anything. There were no decorations except for a dull red rug just below where the chute had dumped Draco.

The blond jumped up and followed Harry quickly.

"Lumos," Draco whispered, still dismayed that his wand wouldn't work.

"Don't even bother, Draco. The headmaster said muggle training, he's not going to take a chance that you're going to try to cheat and use magic."

"Me?! You could cheat just as easily, you know," Draco fumed, still pissed about Harry's giggling fest at his expense.

Harry turned and raised an eyebrow, "When have I ever cheated at anything?"

"That one time… that you… you know, with the thing… and you did that one thing… and then you won… and… um…." Draco was at a loss for words, when had the little bugger ever cheated? Damn, he was married to a little do-gooder… that had to be fixed.

"That's it, the minute we get out of here, I'm giving you lessons."

Harry started chuckling, "What kind of lessons?"

"Lessons on how to have fun, of course."

Harry didn't respond, just started laughing. It was about this time that the tunnel the two boys had entered emptied out into a large room. The floor was heavily matted. It was still seeming inside a large cave, but it was well lit, obviously by magic because Harry couldn't find the source of the light. It seemed to come from the cave itself.

"Welcome to the sparring room!" Dumbledore called from the far side. Harry nodded at the headmaster, Draco glared.

"Now to begin lesson one," the headmaster gave a grin and held a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry I've been away for a bit! I was having a lot of trouble with my computer and it's been sort of iffy as far as the internet goes. Half the time it won't let me on, but I think I got it fixed now... yay!! Anyways, sorry not much happened in this chap, next one, i promise!! I just wanted to let ya'll know that I'm back and haven't forgotten about my stories. Please review if you can, if not, it's fine, not much happened anyways, but next chapter, I'll be looking for some reviews, please? **

**It's nice to be back! Hope to hear from everyone!!**


	17. Let the games begin!

It didn't take long for either Harry or Draco to get the hang of sparring. There didn't seem to be any particular style to it, Dumbledore simply taught them the basics of awareness and how to anticipate their opponent's moves. The rest of the fighting the boys simply picked up. Harry largely suspected that the cave itself fed them some of the ideas for exactly how and where to kick or punch.

Because neither boy could hurt the other, thanks to the bond, Dumbledore had made sure neither of them would show the other any mercy. Luckily, mercy was not something either of them cared to show.

"God damn it Malfoy, hold still so I can get a good punch in!!" Harry yelled as he barrelled towards Draco.

Draco laughed and simply leapt out of the way. As he did so, he slammed his elbow down on Harry's back, just where the boy's neck met his shoulders. The raven haired boy didn't register the blow.

"Can't we turned this damned bond off for just a second? I want to hear Potter here scream in pain," Draco growled. The comment was aimed at Dumbledore, but not actually intended for him to hear.

The headmaster did hear, however and simply shook his head, "You know better than anyone there's no going back on it now."

It may have been Draco's imagination, but he could have sworn that he heard the old coot chuckling.

* * *

Both boys had lost count of how long they had been fighting one another. Both had gotten rather good at dodging and knowing when and where the other would strike. In the past half hour or more, neither had actually landed a blow on the other. 

"Tired yet Potter?" Draco sneared, whiping sweat from just above his right eye.

Harry returned the smirk, "You wish! I never get tired of kicking your ass!!"

Draco jumped at his opponent, but as had been happening all too often, Harry dodged easily.

Dumbledore yawned. There was nothing left for him to teach, and neither boy showed any signs of quitting.

"I'm not leaving this room until I've taken you down," Draco growled.

Harry laughed, "You and I both know that that won't happen."

"I'll get you back for floating me here, you just wait and see... I'll have you howling in pain in no time!"

Harry swung with his left hand, hoping that even though the blow wouldn't be as strong as if he had used his right, it would catch the blond off guard. He wouldn't be expecting a left-handed hit from a right-handed person.

Amazingly, the blow landed.

"You're losing concentration, dear," Harry taunted, "You sure you don't want to rest for a little while?"

Draco let out a howl of loathing. He didn't care if the boy he was fighting was bloody gorgeous, and he didn't care if he was developing a few feelings for him, not that he would ever admit it. He didn't care that they had snogged, that they were on a first name bases for the first time. All Draco knew was that he wanted Harry dead. No one taunted a Malfoy like that, no one.

The Malfoy family had a long history of bad temperment. No matter how suave and cool they tried to pass themselves off as, they would end up losing their temper sometime. Now was one of those times. Draco shut out all else and focused solely on getting Harry back. Making him pay.

Draco wanted Harry to go down for humiliating him after he had lost his bet, for humiliating him by floating him to the headmaster's office, and finally, for managing to catch him off guard.

That was when it happened.

Harry simply dropped.

There was no punch, no kick, no spell, no curse. The golden boy simply stopped moving, swayed for what seemed like forever, but in reality only lasted for a second, if that, and then fell.

Draco caught him.

"Harry?" He whispered in the boy's ear, "Harry, can you hear me?"

Dumbledore came flying towards the two students, practically shoving Draco out of the way. He calmly looked Harry over, grabbed Draco and pulled a cork out of his robes. Draco knew immediately what it was: a port key. He felt that tug behind his navel and he was immediately back in the headmaster's office.

"What's wrong with him? What did you do to him?' Draco demanded. Dumbledore was the only other person in that room and because of the bond, Draco couldn't hurt Harry, so who else could? Only the headmaster.

"SILENCE!!" Albus Dumbledore boomed. "I would never do _anything_ to hurt Harry, you should know this by now, with all the jokes you make about my favoritism. The only person with the power to cause this kind of damage is you, so if you want Harry to be alright, I suggest you stay put while I gather some herbs."

"But... I can't hurt him, believe me, I've tried," Draco let out a laugh which was more a reaction to the situation than happiness.

"You can't hurt him physically," was all Dumbledore said, rushing about his office. He was flinging open cabinets like a madman, overturning bottles he wasn't going to use, and throwing things about, searching for his key ingredients.

When he had gathered everything, leaving Draco in a pensive silence, he tossed the carefully measured herbs into a cauldron which sat in the fireplace. It didn't take long for the potion to emit a golden smoke.

Although the smoke seemed pretty enough, the potion itself was probably the least appetizing thing Draco had ever set eyes on. It was a haphazard mix of colors, the most prevelant being puce. There was also a sickly green color and splotches of a brilliant yellow and purple combination. It didn't smell delicious either.

Dumbledore motioned Draco over, "Dip your finger in the cauldron, get some of the potion on your finger, hurry, we don't have all day!"

Malfoy, confused and almost scarred with the seriousness of the headmaster did as he was told. He let out a hiss as the potion burnt his finger.

"Now make an 'X' on his forehead, quickly now!"

Draco did so.

Both the headmaster and Draco jumped back as Harry sprang up, his eyes wide, his mouth open, gasping for air. No one said a word, all three simply looked back and forth between the other two until Harry turned his eyes onto Draco's.

"You pack quite a punch, you know that?" He laughed.

* * *

**A/N: What has happened here? Hmmm I have a lot of questions left unanswered. I think I'm still trying to find a plot... oh dear, I'll have to bring all those questions to a close, huh? Oh well, it's getting there. I'm going to try to post two chapters at once because this one's not very long, but no guarantees...**

**Well, more next chapter. I'll try to explain what's been going on. Plus, Dumbledore has to prepare both boys a little more for the challenges ahead, let's not forget there's someone still out to get Harry inside the school!**


	18. Feelings revealed or maybe not?

Draco didn't know how to respond to Harry's odd remark, so he simply began laughing. When his fit of mirth had finally begun to die down, he asked, "What the hell just happened?"

Dumbledore looked at Harry, "Why don't you explain it from your point of view, and I'll fill in the blanks dear boy?"

Harry nodded and turned to Draco, "It felt like I was being smothered. I saw you in front of me, and you... well... it was almost like you had an aura around you. You were glowing, at least, a swirl of colors, black and red, mainly. Silver a little bit too, I think. And then suddenly I couldn't breath. I could feel you hating me, hating me for everything, I don't even remember what for now, actually, not specifically. But it was as if you had physically punched me in the stomach. I couldn't breathe, and then I found myself... I..." Harry stopped talking and then added quickly, "I don't remember," he practically snapped.

Dumbledore turned a kind gaze on him, "He'll find out eventually, Harry. Tell him what you were thinking."

Harry spun around to glare at Dumbledore, "You know. You know what I was thinking... that means it wasn't my thought, was it? It was just a product of this stupid bond!"

The golden boy's chest heaved angrily and he forced himself to calm down. No one spoke. No one needed to. Finally, Harry began talking again, murmering his response, "I found myself not wanting to breathe..."

"The whole truth," Dumbledore urged, "This bond won't work against the Dark Lord unless you both tell the absolute truth to one another. What better time to start than now?"

Harry nodded and looked directly into Draco's eyes again, "You were smothering me, but I knew you hated me, so I didn't fight it, I was just going to let you kill me... and... the bond was only half of it..." he let his eyes drop. Draco didn't press the matter and didn't bring it up again. He was torn. Half of him, the slytherin half, was overjoyed at this power he had over his companion. The ability to kill him by simply... wishing to. He didn't even have to use an Unforgivable curse. On the other hand, he had almost killed Harry. His Harry. He didn't deny it now, not after what Harry had just revealed to him, it was something both of them had known for a while now and had simply kept to themselves. All of this teenage lust that had been following the two of them around wasn't just a product of the bond they shared. It was who they were. Draco felt something for the stupid Potter he had loathed with all his heart since they were first years.

"What was in the potion?" Draco asked, turning from Harry. He couldn't stand to look at the boy's face. It was too muddled with fear. Fear of what Draco would say about Harry's confession, and fear of Draco himself. The second one hurt the blond deeply, and he wasn't ready to let Harry know that.

Dumbledore smiled, "It temporarily cancelled out the bond you two share. Long enough for Harry to regain consciousness and long enough for you to stop snuffing out his life. It should be back in place by now."

"YOU MEAN THERE'S A WAY TO UNDO THIS?!" both boys shouted at once. They were both happy to be united in a similar cause once again.

"Well... only for a short time..."

"I'll chug that stuff all day if it means that I can get rid of this stupid bond!" Harry yelled.

Draco corrected him, "You don't chug it, you wear it on your forehead, see?"

Harry turned to spy his reflection in one of the several mirrors hanging around the office. His hand flew to his head to wipe off the disgusting liquid which had now dried into a flakey mass on his head.

"Either way, I'd wear it all day if I could just get rid of this bond," he grumbled.

Draco nodded agreement, "With my good looks, it would probably start a fashion statement."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Ready to make another bet, Draco?" he laughed.

The blond glared at him.

Dumbledore broke the staring contest as his voice filled the silence, "I know you two have had a rough day today -"

"Rough nothing!! I almost got smothered!!" Harry snarled, "I think that takes things a step beyond 'rough,' don't you?"

Draco stuck out his tongue at Harry and Dumbledore simply ignored him, "But there are other things to be learned. Your bond is strong, but not as strong as it could be. Tomorrow you will be meeting back in my office at the same time as you did today. I will give you a break from muggle fighting and we will move on to another such task. We will resume your muggle fight training the day after tomorrow when I think both of you will feel more relaxed. It will be much more conducive to learning."

The headmaster smiled at both boys. Harry stared at him blankly and Draco shot him the meanest glare he possibly could, "Are you saying that we have to come back here tomorrow, even though we almost got ourselves killed?!" Draco growled.

Harry smacked Draco in the back of the hand, but the bond was definitely back in place because Draco didn't feel a thing, "WE?! _I'm_ the one who almost got killed here!"

Draco turned and put a finger to his mouth, "Shhhh, it sounds better if it's almost like we both almost got killed."

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Draco, the headmaster was there. I'm pretty sure he'd recall if we were both almost killed."

The blond wrinkled his nose, "Well, on the offchance he doesn't remember..." Draco smiled and Harry couldn't help but chuckled.

Dumbledore, unseen by both boys, smiled to himself.

* * *

**A/N: Alright, here's the next chapter, sorry I made you wait a little while for it, i got busy after I had posted the last chapter, so I got this up as soon as I could. I have a lot of homework, though, so I can't promise another update soon. That's what you get for taking all AP/IB classes. Woohoo. should be one hell of year. anyways, if you can find it in your heart to review, please do, it would be greatly appreciated. And the rest will be coming up shortly. I'll tie everything together in the next chapter, so if you have any questions you feel need answered, please tell me and I'll make sure I answer them fully in the next chapter I post (unless I don't know the answer, in which case I guess we're both out of luck).**


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